‘If you’re going through hell, take heart’
Travel author, Geoff Hill, reveals how talking, friends and motorcycles pulled him back from the brink
In 1994, I nearly took my own life. Why? Because a series of disasters had left me in a mental health hospital, with my head in my hands and my life over, so there seemed little point in going on.
First, I split up with my girlfriend of eight years. Then my sister died of cancer, my grandmother died of Too Many Birthdays, the house renovations went over budget and the volleyball team I played for and coached was broken up by someone I’d considered a friend. I could have coped with one of them, but not all, and before long I was only sleeping for a couple of hours a night, and the thought of even getting out of bed or leaving the house filled me with terror.
If you’d asked me what I was afraid of, I would have said nothing and everything, but life had ceased to be worth living. What kept me alive was the love of family and friends, and the fact that I had no problem talking about it.
When I recovered, I wrote about the experience in the daily newspaper I worked for, and the response to that was huge – from people who’d either been through the same thing or knew someone who had, but had never talked about it because of the perceived stigma.
Thankfully, that’s getting better, but the response made me think the official figure of one in four people suffering mental health issues is far short of the truth.
And the problem is that the NHS resources devoted to mental health are far short of the need, although private health care provider Benenden offers access to a mental health helpline for only £11.90 a month – and you can reach the team at CALM free every day.
As for me, far from my life being over, I went on to get my bike and pilot’s licence, ride motorbikes all over the world.
So if you’re going through hell right now, take heart. Life will be heaven when you come out the other side.