‘It’s time to open it up and talk’
MCN’s Jordan Gibbons on how we should all be ready to challenge the usual ‘yeah, I’m fine thanks’ brush-off
If a friend rang you up and said: “I’m not in a good way, I need to chat,” would you take the time to speak to them? Of course you would, everyone would. But if I asked you whether all your friends would do the same for you, you might not be so sure. It’s one of these weird social phenomena; we’re all ready to listen but we think no one else is.
Each year Royal Enfield do a series of organised rides under the ‘One Ride’ banner. In the UK, Enfield have teamed up with CALM to help deliver a positive message around mental health awareness. This year they organised a big ride out, with 30 of us jumping on bikes, chatting, eating and generally getting to know each other.
As part of the ride, we had the pleasure of listening to mental health campaigner Ben Bowers talk about his own struggles and how we can learn from his experiences to help others in our circle.
One of those is listening – not just knowing we’re ready to listen but letting other people know it too. A big part of that is starting conversations with something as simple as asking how someone is feeling, then not accepting the standard “oh yeah, fine” brush off we all give. Ben jokes that at his lowest moment during chemotherapy when he was utterly depressed, his friends would ask how he was and he’d give the thumbs up. But those that knew him best would say: “Really mate? Because you look like shit.” They’d talk and he would admit he wasn’t alright at all. In fact, he was miserable. Making it clear to friends that we can empathise with how they feel and help them could be the glint of hope they need. Over 75% of suicides in the UK are men and it’s the biggest killer of men under 45. It might seem inconsequential when it happens but taking that time to ask someone if they’re really ok could help save a life.