Finnish folk metallers ENSIFERUM get intimate.

YOUTUBE LIVE Mötley Crüe, Five Finger Death Punch and Papa Roach make brief stands against blandness BETTER NOISE MUSIC

have organised this free online event that promises “performances and unseen footage by Mötley Crüe, Five Finger Death Punch, and more.” A list of bands has been advertised, although no running order has been published. As the chat window gathers steam in the minutes leading up to the kick-off, it’s clear that a staggering number of optimistic (yet hopelessly delusional) fans are expecting Crüe to perform live – even after Nikki Sixx took to Twitter on the day before, clarifying, “For those who keep asking. NO @Motleycrue is not playing a festival coming up. Its

[sic] a record company putting bands on the label for fans to stream. They are just calling it a festival… Hope this clears things up.”

For the next two and a half hours, 20 artists play one or two-song acoustic sets spanning a broad range of genres, including pop punk, folk, country, reggae, hip hop, blues and rock. This proves problematic for fans drawn to the festival by Crüe and 5FDP, who were expecting something much heavier than the bland pop stylings that dominate the event.

Based on the chatter in the sidebar, ESCAPE THE FATE have drawn quite a few fans, but their only contribution

is an earnest acoustic version of Broken Heart. Likewise, PAPA ROACH appear in archival footage, playing an acoustic Scars to an intimate crowd in a small club. They, too, appear for just one song.

The festival is not without highlights.

BAD WOLVES perform powerful acoustic versions of Sober and Killing Me Slowly and archival footage of THE HU playing Wolf Totem in a small club injects pure adrenaline into the proceedings. Likewise, FROM ASHES TO NEW, TEMPT and TUK SMITH & THE RESTLESS HEARTS turn in some fiercely energetic performances that send the chat crowd scurrying to update their playlists.

FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH’S only appearance is a long-ish comedy skit where Ivan Moody calls famous guitarists to teach him guitar, all of whom dis and reject him, though bits with Steel Panther’s Satchel and Zoltan Bathory offer some genuinely funny moments. The festival comes to an end with live archival footage of MÖTLEY CRÜE from their 2015 farewell tour, playing wheezing versions of Girls, Girls, Girls and Kickstart My Heart. It’s tough to complain about a free festival, but even with modest expectations, this one has sailed wide of the uprights.

JOE DALY