Sponging off the Americans would be worth it to see Dyche get gunged
IMAGINE a world where Sean Dyche gets gunged during his post-match interview, or Jamie Vardy fires a penalty straight into Spongebob Squarepants. Well, if broadcasting trends are anything to go by, imagination could soon become reality.
The actual gunging of coaches and virtual appearance of Mr Squarepants between the goalposts were just two of the innovations on show last Sunday when children’s television network Nickelodeon broadcast live coverage of an NFL game for the first time.
The New Orleans Saints’ super wildcard playoff win over the Chicago Bears proved to be an inspired choice, with the unfancied Bears team unable to lay a glove on the Saints, meaning the cartoon network’s unique coverage provided most of the evening’s highlights.
Touchdowns were heralded by the firing of virtual slime canons in the endzone (sorry, slimezone) and breaks in play were enlivened by cartoon hamburgers being superimposed over players heads, or the occasional pair of cartoon bug eyes. Field goals saw kickers aim at a set of posts with Spongebob Squarepants superimposed on them – worth it just to hear a commentator utter the words ‘and he kicks it right through Spongebob’. There were references to homework, Alvin and the Chipmunks and someone called Young Sheldon was on hand to explain the rules, while postmatch interviews found Saints coach Sean Payton sitting on the floor getting a bucket of green slime tipped over his head (the 57-year-old promised to take the hit if his team won and was as good as his word). This approach is not for everyone, in fact it wasn’t for everyone – Sunday’s game was also shown on CBS and Amazon Prime in the US, with international broadcasters like Sky Sports in the UK taking the CBS feed. Nickelodeon’s coverage was obviously aimed at children, as an exercise in nurturing their interest in a sport which is long in both time and impenetrable rules.
Kids appeared to love it but so did adults. Indeed, the kind of not-sogrown-ups who hang around on social media itching to tear shreds out of anything brave or new were falling
over themselves to praise it. Anarchy reigned on screen and, gloriously, cynicism took the night off.
It was mindless fun at a time when that precious commodity is in short supply.
On this side of the pond professional football is currently allowed to continue nue during the worst of the pandemic andemic because it provides a distraction, but it’s increasingly hard to be distracted when for every game there is a positive test, a quarantine breach, a
postpo postponement or a stern rem reminder about how easy it wi will be for the government to pull the plug.
No, a distraction is star players being compared to Lincoln Loud and an at attempt on goal being po positively appraised by Patr Patrick from Bikini Bottom. Wha What we need at the moment is to be amused and if Sean Dyche would do the decent thing and stick his head under the gunge bucket, I’m unlikely to be the only one tuning in.