Four steps to... happiness
LIFE COACH LYDIA KIMMERLING GIVES VICKI-MARIE COSSAR SOME TIPS ON HOW WE CAN FIND INNER CONTENTMENT...
WHILE happiness might seem like an elusive concept at the moment, life coach and happiness expert Lydia Kimmerling believes that your natural state of being is to be happy – and that, when you feel this way, you can create an amazing life for yourself. But, with everything that’s going on in the world how can you feel joy, contentment and positivity? Lydia says a few simple tweaks to your morning routine can help you find inner happiness right here and now.
1. SWITCH YOUR HAPPINESS ON
‘This is a practice that teaches you how to feel more in control of your day from the moment you wake up,’ she says. ‘When you wake up, so do your thoughts, and if you are not fully conscious of what you’re thinking – which we rarely are when we wake up – your thoughts will take control of you. Switching your happiness on is about making a choice to take ownership of your happiness, by asking yourself three simple questions: “Who do I want to be? How do I want to feel? What do I want to do?” Taking just three minutes to connect to your inner world before you connect with the outer world will help you to feel happier, which is when you take more positive action.’
2. END THE WAITING GAME
‘If you want to feel happier right now, you need to look at what you are unknowingly giving your happiness away to. Far too often we find ourselves stuck in a happiness waiting game, outsourcing our happiness to something in the future saying, “I’ll be happy when I have lost weight” or “I’ll be happy when I have a new job”. Of course, all these things add to our happiness, but if you believe they hold your happiness, you will be sad every time your life changes. You can exit your happiness waiting game by focusing on what you do have and being grateful for it. You can add this to your happiness switch practice in the morning by saying three things you’re grateful for, directly after answering your three questions.’
3. NURTURE YOUR HAPPINESS SWEET SPOT
‘If you feel stuck in a rut and you’re struggling to figure out how to move forward, the best thing you can do is nurture your happiness by doing things that make you happy. You’ve probably been so focused on your problems recently that you’ve forgotten what that actually is. It’s important to know your happiness sweet spot because you can rely on it and use it to cultivate more happiness. Happiness is infectious, just a little bit of time spent in your sweet spot will elevate you. After your morning questions, this could be as simple as reading a book, or dancing around your bedroom, music full blast.’
4. LET GO OF YOUR HAPPINESS ATTACHMENTS
‘Whilst the past year has been filled with much uncertainty, what I want to gently remind you is that we never know what is going to happen in life. In fact, the more you try to control it, the more out of control you feel. Life has and always will be uncertain. If you fear the unknown, then you fear life itself. Ultimately, the source of unhappiness is the attachment to a future we expect to happen and when it doesn’t, it leads to disappointment. Acceptance of how life is unfolding in front of you is what will help you move into a state of happiness. It doesn’t mean that you have to feel happy about the situation itself, but it will allow you to shape a new future. Your final step is to check in on any expectations you have and make a choice to let them go. This way, you can allow life to surprise you with something positive when you least expect it.’
Lydia runs a seven-day online Happiness Reset programme that teaches you how to feel happier without drastically changing your life, £39 (includes videos, MP3s and practical exercises), thehappinessexplorer.com