Five ways to pep up long-term relationships post-lockdown
1 Get dressed up and go on a date.
‘But that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to leave the house,’ says Ruby Payne, relationship expert at Uberkinky.
‘For some people, that’s easier said than done – not every parent is privileged to have childcare on demand. Try a movie night at home, order from a new takeaway, do a “blackout” night where there are no electronic devices, go wild with a brand-new hobby together, or try something fresh and kinky in the bedroom.’
2 Be mindful of how much you talk about your children to each other.
‘Adults need to have their own time,’ says Mairead Molloy, global director at Berkeley International dating agency. ‘If not, you feel you are losing your identity and this has knock-on effects s in the marriage.’
3 Give them space: suggest they go out with friends, have a relaxing treatment, spend time reading…
‘It sounds counterproductive but space is so important in a relationship,” explains Payne. ‘Not only is it extremely healthy, it also keeps an element of freshness to things. Don’t get lost in your partner and relationship. Space to do your own thing and pursue your own interests will help to maintain your sense of identity, and foster independence instead of neediness and clingy tendencies. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it also gives you more to talk about on your date nights.’
4 Look your best.
After a year of sinking into loungewear, comfort eating and DIY haircuts, it’s time to embrace pride in appearances: ‘Most of us judge people by their appearance and your appearance shows if you’ve made an effort,’ says Alex Mellor-Brook, dating expert at Select Services matchmaking. ‘It highlights to the other person how important they are because of the time and effort made.’
5 Embrace the new.
‘Put a note in your diary every week to do something novel, fun and exciting,’ says Match’s dating expert, Hayley Quinn. ‘Ban the usual topics of conversation (yes, that means the kids) and turn your phones off for at least a few hours. By being more present and getting out of your routine, you may well find that you still actually fancy your other half!’