It’s amazing how it’s gone from being something no one talked about to being the word on everyone’s lips
day but he stopped letting them in so I had to rush back from rehearsals in central London in my lunch hour, which was hard when you’re working on a show.
It got to the point where I couldn’t manage his care. We still had no idea what was wrong and I didn’t know how to take care of him. The trauma of putting him in a home even though I knew he needed care was too much to bear because he didn’t want to go.
He was in a home in London at first and I went to see him three to five times a week. Then they said they were going to sell the building and we needed to find a new home for him in four weeks, and also he’d been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Fortunately my sister lived close to a nursing home in Leeds so he went there and we all used to visit all the time. In quite a short space of time after that there was such a change in his behaviour. He loved books and
reading the paper cover to cover but he no longer wanted me to read to him; he’d wave his hands and push away the newspaper. It was a shock and devastating to see as reading was his passion.
He just sat in a chair and didn’t want to eat; it was as though all his spirit and life had been sucked out of him. He was the same man I could put my arms around but there was no longer my dad inside him.
I think of dementia like a train going through a tunnel and bit by bit, your memory is left behind until eventually there’s nothing left. Just a beating heart in a human you used to know.
Nothing ever prepares you for when a parent dies. Dad was 89 and I look back and think when he closed his eyes for the last time, that was a blessing. But everything that leads up to it, you think, ‘I could have been there then, I could have got back then’. All those moments forever stick in you.
I want to talk about dementia as much as possible to help people going through the same thing because it is so hard. I didn’t know anything and now I have a lot of people contact me for advice through the work I do with Alzheimer’s Society.
I’ve worked with a lot of young people and often people in their 30s are discovering a grandparent with dementia and they don’t know what to do. It’s amazing how it’s gone from something no one talked about to being the word on everyone’s lips.
The fact is 900,000 people are living with dementia. The increase of people being diagnosed is incredible. They are trying to find a drug so there is hope in sight but early diagnosis is vital so people can be helped. We know exercise and music help too; let music fill your mind and body. We need to give people access to things that will give them strength.
Visiting care homes with young children is such a lovely thing to do because little ones only see the human being, they don’t see that there’s something wrong. And the delight and the response in the eyes of people who need interaction is just extraordinary.
If you’re worried about yourself, or someone close to you, check your symptoms today using the Alzheimer’s Society’s symptom checklist. Visit alzheimers.org.uk/checklist or call the Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456
ANNA JENKINS, 51, WAFA FOUNDER
I struggled with my weight and, by the time I was 17, had embarked on a constant cycle of dieting. My confidence was so low I hated exercise because it seemed so competitive and I felt I wasn’t good enough. In my 20s I discovered the gym and everything changed.
Working out with other women, I didn’t feel judged and loved the buzz I got at the end of a session. Then, in my early 30s, I suffered a slipped disc and was immobilised for weeks.
It was so demoralising I vowed that, as soon as I was fit enough, I’d complete a triathalon. I couldn’t believe how empowering it was.
I was so inspired I decided to train as a coach and help other women who struggled like me. Even though I’m waiting for a second hip operation, I refuse to be held back. WAFA is all about guiding women in an environment free of intimidation and helping them become mentally and
PHOTOS: RAY BURMISTON physically stronger. I see the difference in them every day and that gives me strength, too.
BERNIE WARD, 65, SOCIAL WORKER
I’ve exercised all my life and tried a huge variety of groups and classes but never been consistent. But WAFA is different. I enjoy going every day and feel so much stronger.
The exercises are amazing but it’s about all the other stuff – the nutrition and mindset programmes, and the company of the other women. We are a wonderfully supportive, diverse group. I desperately needed a reset after Covid, which had left me feeling very low. When I joined, I had just had a biopsy for cancer so it was a great opportunity to detox.
I’ve lost a significant amount of weight and the exercises have made me feel stronger and more confident. I used to have a lot of shoulder pain and was suffering arthritic pain in my feet, particularly in bed. That has gone. I feel so much more energetic. In truth, I feel I’ve got my sense of self back.
MARIA GORMAN, 59, LOCAL GOVERNMENT SERVICE AND DEVELOPMENT MANAGER
I’ve always loved swimming, running and cycling but, working and bringing up a family didn’t leave me any time. So I did nothing for ten years until the Christmas when my youngest was two.
It was Boxing Day 2009 and I decided to hit the sales. When I got to the shops, the queues were a mile long so I decided to give up. It was 5am and there I was at a loose end. For some reason, I put on a pair of trainers and ran round the block.
It felt so good I did the same the next few mornings, making the circles bigger and bigger until I could run for an hour. When a friend said she was doing a half marathon, I decided to join her.
Getting my medal was one of the proudest days of my life. I felt so brilliant I carried on entering marathons. Inevitably time caught up with me. I started getting injuries and so I joined WAFA to see if I could build strength.
The difference has been amazing. I did the Brighton Marathon in 2019 and literally bounced around the course like Tigger. I’m now training for the Edinburgh Marathon.
Strength training keeps all the bits on board and means I can do the thing I love – running.
SHAZIA CHAUDHRY, 51, LEARNING MANAGER IN EDUCATION
When I’m in a workout, lifting weights, completing movements, I am completely in the flow of the moment and all these fantastic hormones are rushing through my body.
There will be times when I feel I can’t manage those extra seconds, but I push through and I always feel so much better. The sessions give me such strength, I feel I can manage the
challenges of my working day. I was looking for a form of exercise to help with my peri-menopause symptoms.
It’s not just about the classes – which I do online at either 6am or 6.15am – but the ongoing support, the modules about wellbeing, mindset, nutrition, setting goals and fitness. It’s a holistic package of support.
Women should not be afraid of strength training. So many of us rule it out, thinking it’s not for us and that we should stick to cardio-based exercises. In fact, as we age, strength training helps us maintain stronger bones and muscle, it strengthens our joints and has an impact on our mental health.
I suffered from fibromyalgia in my 20s. The pain got so bad, it got to the point I could barely lift my arms. Now I’m lifting 5kg weights. It’s been a long journey but it just proves that, if we engage in exercise and strength training, we can feel better than we did even when we were younger.
LIZZIE FRANCKE, 61, HEAD OF FICTION AT THE NATIONAL FILM
AND TV SCHOOL
Starting WAFA on January 2, 2024, I felt I was defining the new year on my own terms. I’m an avid swimmer but I knew I needed something to propel me forward. I was overweight and my life was rather glued together by coffee, sugar, gluten and alcohol – habits that saw me through Covid and various family bereavements. I enjoy the accountability of turning up and being pushed to do things that I feel really uncomfortable about, like burpies.
Five months on, I feel fitter and stronger. My swimming pace has improved and I’m looking forward, not back. I’ve recently started a new job and I’m definitely on the front foot.
I’ve also tackled my eating and drinking habits. I feel the same strength I’ve felt at points in my life when I’ve been thrown in the deep end professionally and found I can float. I’m testing myself on the physical and professional fronts and so far, so good.
FRANCA HYDER, 67, CLIENT ACCOUNT MANAGER AT AN INDEPENDENT ESTATE AGENTS
I was quite fit into my late 40s then family and work took over. In 2019 – after enduring eight years of pain – I had a hip replacement. All that time I’d not been able to exercise so I felt worthless and ugly because I’d put on weight. The operation gave me a new lease of life and I got back to walking two hours a day but I felt I needed something more. Then I heard about WAFA and realised that it was tailored for older women and that, even with a hip replacement, it was possible to incorporate weight training and build up core strength. I have not looked back. I attend Sweat & Strength workouts three times a week as well as maintaining a treadmill routine of two hours a day. I get such a great sense of satisfaction when I complete a class. I am doing something for myself to be the best I can as I age and that makes me feel so strong.
AILBHE PHELAN, 65, GRAPHIC DESIGNER
My father died very suddenly when I was 18. From that day, whenever I felt stressed or frightened, I would tell myself: ‘Life is fragile. Life is short. Do what you can. Enjoy what you can. Move forward.’ It’s been a motivator.
I like the fact that WAFA makes me feel even stronger. I joined because I wanted to lose weight – I was sick of being on yo-yo diets. But what I really wanted was to get stronger and fitter.
And that’s exactly what’s happened. As an illustrator, my job is sedentary.
I was aware that I was getting increasingly unfit. I lacked energy and had constant aches and pains. I’d tried yoga, tai chi and Zumba but had given up for various reasons.
I love the fact that WAFA is all about women having fun while exercising. It’s not about trying to be skinnier than we’re meant to be. It’s about exercise making us confident in our shapes. I’ve never been sporty, but I do really like the effects of exercise – feeling toned, fitter and stronger.
TRICIA KENDALL, 53, FORMER TEACHER
I can’t believe how far I’ve come and how different I feel. I was really low mentally and physically when I joined WAFA a year ago. I knew I needed to do something to boost myself but I was completely petrified about the thought of joining a gym. I live in Yorkshire so I do all my exercises online. I roll downstairs in my gear and pick up my weights and I’m good to go.
Right from the start the online community has been amazing – so supportive with check-ins, phone calls and WhatsApp messages.
When I first started I was just doing the basic moves. Now I’m into the more advanced moves and can manage much heavier weights, which gives me so much confidence. I love the holistic approach – the nutrition and mindset workshops. I’ve got stronger mentally, too. I’m convinced that one feeds into the other. I can see myself getting fitter and stronger and that makes me feel brilliant. But I also feel I can cope much better with life’s hurdles.
With all of these movements, warm up fully first and do each one for 30 seconds then rest for 30 seconds before repeating once or twice – so two to three sets in all
Chair squat: Sit on the edge of the chair, feet tucked underneath the knees, shoulders pulled back and back straight. Push through the heels to come to standing, then sit back down. Keep the body upright without leaning forward as you stand up.
Air squat: Remove the chair and repeat the same movement. Chest needs to face forward to the opposite side of the room as you hinge the hips back, not allowing the body to collapse forward.
Weighted squat: Same as air squat, holding a weight at the chest.
Wall push-up: Bring hands to chest level then extend hands to the wall. Step back, onto the balls of the feet so the body is at an angle to the wall. Widen the arms, then bend the elbows outwards bringing the body towards the wall, pushing back to start.
Knee push-up: Come onto hands and knees. Step both legs out to full extension in plank position and then drop the knees to the floor. Widen the hands, then bend the elbows, lowering the whole upper body forward and to the floor, hinging at the knees so that the bottom isn’t left behind.
Full push-up: Come onto hands and knees. Step both legs out to full extension in plank position. Widen the hands out to the side. Bend the elbows outwards allowing the whole body to drop to the floor. Then push the arms back to a straight position. Check the back doesn’t dip.
Bicep curl/shoulder press: Hold dumbbells in each hand in front of you, arms down, palms facing away from the body, knuckles against your thighs. Roll the shoulders and pinch shoulder blades together. Elbows tucked into the body. Bend elbows, bringing the weights to chest level. Then twist the dumbbells so the palms are facing towards each other. Drive the dumbbells straight up to the ceiling, fully extending the arms. Bring arms back down. Twist hands so palms facing into the body and return the arms back to thigh level.