Rosie will keep on bounc­ing back!

Midweek Sport - - SPORT -

Francesca had her as­sets seized – in more ways than one – on BBC1 drama Pris­on­ers’ Wives.’

The uber-milf had her man­sion re­pos­sessed af­ter her drug baron hubby fell foul of the Pro­ceeds of Crime Act.

To make ends meet, she took a job as a hospi­tal cleaner and im­me­di­ately be­gan flirt­ing with a hunky male col­league.

He was from East­ern Europe. I’m not sure which coun­try but when she grabbed his thigh there was a def­i­nite hint of Pole.

He wooed her with a stolen fish, but it was him who ended up get­ting bat­tered.

That’ll teach him. You can take our jobs, even shag our women, but don’t you dare poach our carp. CORO­NA­TION Street’s Rosie Web­ster was al­ways go­ing to be a con­tro­ver­sial choice to front Weather­field’s Road Safety cam­paign.

Just look­ing her “airbags” must have caused a few crashes in her time.

And re­mem­ber those bill­bard ads where she posed top­less with some lucky bloke’s hands over her norks? I bet they caused more fen­der-ben­ders than black ice on the cob­bles.

But Rosie ac­tu­ally got the sack from the role af­ter she and boyfriend Ja­son shunted a fella from be­hind. Not in the way that High Court Judges would pay good money for though, they shunted him in a Tran­sit van while they were busy snog­ging.

To be fair, Rosie prob­a­bly thought she’d pulled the hand­brake. Now she re­alises Ja­son was just pleased to see her.

Weirdly, he’d got aroused while Rosie was fan­ta­sis­ing about be­ing in­ter­viewed by Jonathan Ross. Maybe it was the thought of Wossy try­ing to get his tongue around her Rs.

The ac­ci­dent could have been dev­as­tat­ing for Cor­rie’s favourite pair. For­tu­nately they were not in­jured, just very shaken. That is what hap­pens if you don’t wear a sup­port­ive bra.

Still, you can­not keep Rosie Web­ster down and the ac­ci­dent proved to be her big break and even­tu­ally led to her leav­ing the Street.

A TV pro­ducer read about the crash in the Weatherf ie ld Gazette (oh yes, all TV pro­duc­ers read the Gazette) and wants to cast Rosie in a new re­al­ity show.

We do not know the ex­act de­tails but it is prob­a­bly a Man­cu­nian ver­sion of TOWIE: The Only Way is Ec­cles.

“This is what you’d call bounc­ing back!” cried Rosie, as she pre­pares to leave the Street for good.

Yes, luv, but we pre­fer to re­mem­ber you for your bounc­ing front, which I’m go­ing to miss ev­ery time I switch on Cor­rie. CHAN­NEL doc­u­men­tary

fol­lowed the lives of club door­men in Newport, Gwent, and did lit­tle to shat­ter their rep­u­ta­tion for be­ing as thick as they are wide.

“I could sell shit to the Arabs,” said Jamie, who fan­cied him­self as a sales­man.

OK pal but the ex­pres­sion is to sell SAND to the Arabs.

Arabs tra­di­tion­ally live in the desert, you see. The idea is that a good sales­man could flog peo­ple some­thing they are fa­mously sur­rounded by, like “coals to New­cas­tle” or “ice to Eski­mos”.

Or shit to Newport. REA­SONS why I like women more than men #468.

Jonathan Ross spent most of his Satur­day night chat show try­ing to get David Beck­ham to flash his un­der­pants.

Blush­ing Becks re­fused. Even af­ter a gig­gling Ross showed his own pants the foot­baller kept his y-fronts un­der wraps.

Pop babe Jessie J had no such qualms she strode up to sing a song only wear­ing her undies.

She strut­ted her stuff in stock­ings, knicker re­veal­ing shorts and killer high heels, with­out bat­ting an eye­lid. She even let the cam­era­man start with a lin­ger­ing up­wards shot of her lovely bot­tom.

Ei­ther that or he had fainted, which would be to­tally for­giv­able un­der the cir­cum­stances.

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