As 500th episode airs this week, here’s Mr Simp­son’s fun­ni­est quotes... HO HO HO HOMER!

Midweek Sport - - NEWS - By JES­SICA HAWORTH

HOMER: Your old meat made me sick! APU: Oh I am so sorry. Please ac­cept five pounds of frozen shrimp as an apol­ogy. HOMER: This shrimp isn’t frozen! And it smells funny! APU: Okay, ten pounds. HOMER: Woo-hoo! SON, when you par­tic­i­pate in sport­ing events, it’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how drunk you get. MARGE, what if we chose the wrong re­li­gion? Each week we just make God mad­der and mad­der. THE donut has pur­ple in the mid­dle of it, pur­ple is a fruit. BART, I want to share some­thing with you: Those three lit­tle sen­tences that will get you through life. Num­ber 1: Cover for me. Num­ber 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Num­ber 3: It was like that when I got here. HOW is ed­u­ca­tion sup­posed to make me feel smarter? Be­sides, ev­ery time I learn some­thing new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Re­mem­ber when I took that home wine­mak­ing course, and I for­got how to drive? THE 500th episode of

was broad­cast this week, mark­ing an amaz­ing 23 years of mak­ing the world laugh.

In the 500th episode, the fam­ily are thrown out of Springfield and wel­comed in ‘The Out­lands’, where they meet Wik­ileaks founder Ju­lian As­sange.

It’s an­other clas­sic, packed to the brim with hi­lar­i­ous sit­u­a­tions and one-lin­ers.

But as ev­ery TV ex­pert knows, the main rea­son the show has lasted so long is the com­edy ge­nius that is Homer Simp­son.

So to cel­e­brate the show’s land­mark episode, we’ve col­lected the tubby idiot’s fun­ni­est quotes

From his love of donuts, Duff beer and trashy TV to his knack for get­ting into trou­ble – there’s isn’t much you can’t like about the al­most-hair­less oaf. HOMER: Marge, where’s the Duff? MARGE: Oh, uh, we’re all out, Homer. HOMER: D’oh! MARGE: Would you like some fruit juice? HOMER: Don’t toy with me, woman! MARGE, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to lis­ten. HOMER: Are you say­ing you’re never go­ing to eat any an­i­mal again? What about ba­con? LISA: No. HOMER: Ham? LISA: No! HOMER: Pork chops? LISA: Dad, those all come from the same an­i­mal! HOMER: Heh, heh, heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A won­der­ful, mag­i­cal an­i­mal. ALL my life I’ve been an obese man trapped in­side a fat man’s body.

HI­LAR­I­OUS: Homer and Bart meet

Ju­lian As­sange

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