Last or­ders for mar­riage af­ter bar bonk

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

Dear Jemma, I’VE got my­self into a right pickle and hope you can give me some ad­vice.

I love a beer, like most blokes, and usu­ally pop into my lo­cal three or four nights a week for a few pints.

The place is a typ­i­cal old boozer but a month ago the land­lord took on a new bar­maid – and she’s an ab­so­lute stunna!

Talk about sexy, she’s got huge mel­ons, a beau­ti­ful face and a back­side you could rest more than a pint on.

All the reg­u­lars tried it on with her with­out suc­cess, but one night just be­fore clos­ing she si­dled over to me and asked me if I wanted a lock-in.

I was well up for a few more bevvies and got stuck in af­ter the other pun­ters had left, but I also man­aged to give this sexy lass a see­ing-to while she was bent over the pumps and spurted my pop­u­la­tion paste all over her in­cred­i­ble boobs.

The prob­lem is that a few of the other lads know my mis­sus and I am ter­ri­fied some­one will let the cat out of the bag. What’s my best course of ac­tion?

FG, Birken­head

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