My mother-in -law’s a porn movie star!

DJ strip got me spin­ning DO YOU HAVE A SEX PROB­LEM? BRI­TAIN’S TOP EROTIC AU­THOR AN­SWERS YOUR PROB­LEMS

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Dear Robyn, ME and the mis­sus have just made a ter­ri­ble dis­cov­ery – her mother has starred in porn flicks!

We’ve been mar­ried for four years and have al­ways en­joyed watch­ing bongo doc­u­men­taries in the be­d­room.

I get them from a pal at work who has a mas­sive col­lec­tion of these films from all over the world.

Any­way, me and the wife went to bed early one night and stuck a film in the DVD player.

The box said it was “Greek” from a few years ago.

But we soon dis­cov­ered that it was in fact English – and it was real hard­core stuff.

Licked

There were close-up shots of suck­ing, lick­ing, shag­ging and even anal right from the open­ing cred­its.

The ac­tion was so horny we soon had to pause it while my wife gave me a gob­ble while I licked her out un­til she cli­maxed.

We started the film again and watched this woman suck­ing one bloke off while an­other shafted her from be­hind doggy-style.

When she pulled her head away for the oblig­a­tory “money shot”, that’s when I recog­nised her – the MOTHER-IN-LAW!

She was even cred­ited un­der her real name at the end.

I stopped the tape and we just lay there for ages, nei­ther of us ut­ter­ing a word un­til I broke the ice by say­ing: “She had lovely tits, didn’t she?”

That was the worst thing I could have said be­cause the wife called me a bas­tard and jumped out of bed be­fore run­ning to the bathroom and lock­ing her­self in.

She stayed in there all night, sob­bing her lit­tle heart out.

When she came out she said she was go­ing straight to her mum’s to have it out with her.

But I per­suaded her against it, say­ing that if she wanted us to know about her porn past she would tell us.

Now I can’t get it out of my mind and I have watched the film alone sev­eral times.

Each each time I have had a fan­tas­tic solo ses­sion over the images of my mother-in-law.

Now I’m think­ing about ask­ing the wife’s mum if she fan­cies a shag be­cause she must know all the tricks.

I would par­tic­u­larly like to ex­per­i­ment with some back-door ac­tion. Am I be­ing too kinky?

PH, West Yorks Robyn says: IF you are then it must run in the bloody fam­ily!

I would ad­vise you against try­ing any­thing on with your mother-in-law be­cause your wife is up­set enough about what you dis­cov­ered.

If she learned that you were shag­ging her mum, it could tip her over the edge. is that my stal­lion with long dark hair is abu­sive to me some­times.

He has been foul-mouthed to me in ar­gu­ments and called me ter­ri­ble names, get­ting me into such a state that I don’t know where to turn.

He goes away and calms down, then he comes back full of apolo­gies, un­dresses me slowly and takes me to bed and makes amaz­ing love to me.

I feel like I have been cursed as I’m so ad­dicted to his be­d­room skills that I feel hope­lessly in love with him and un­able to leave.

Don’t get me wrong, we have amaz­ing times to­gether and I would go so far as to say he is my best friend, but the thing is I can’t take his nasty name­call­ing any­more. Help me!

Leanne, Southend. Dear Leanne, THIS is a very sad chain of events.

On the one hand you have met the man of your dreams; Ev­ery woman wants the ul­ti­mate lover – one that drives us wild in bed, that gets to know our bod­ies prop­erly and takes the time to learn MY wife and I have a very ac­tive sex life.

We are both into role­play­ing and our par­tic­u­lar favourite is the “search rou­tine” in which I pre­tend to be a cop and have to strip-search her.

We pre­tend that I sus­pect her of shoplift­ing and she may have stolen goods hid­den about her per­son.

I get her to stand fac­ing away from me against the wall with her legs spread slightly. Then I start to frisk her, run­ning my hands all over her body and paus­ing for a de­tailed ex­am­i­na­tion of the most in­ti­mate spots.

I slip my hand up her skirt and raise it be­fore pulling down her G-string with my teeth to ex­plore her moist fanny with my tongue.

Then I or­der her to bend over and pre­pare to re­ceive my trun­cheon – in both holes.

I was telling two of my work­mates about this game and they told me I was “weird”. Do you reckon there is any­thing wrong?

CB, Bucks

Robyn says: Dear Robyn, I WORK part-time as a DJ, do­ing wed­dings and birth­days.

I did a 21st for a girl a few weeks ago and ended up hav­ing the most ter­ri­fy­ing night of my life.

I thought some­thing was wrong when I got to the venue and found there were only a cou­ple of guys. They soon left when the girls started knock­ing back te­quila slam­mers.

Out of the blue, three of them wres­tled me to the floor.

They took my clothes off and groped my todger.

It’s put me off do­ing par­ties. What do you think?

Robyn says: ex­actly what we want and it sounds like your man knows just that.

You say he makes love to you at ev­ery op­por­tu­nity, so he fan­cies the pants off you, that is clear. This is ev­i­dence enough to tell me that you need to get him treat­ment.

There are many coun­sel­lors out there like Re­late that will talk to you both and rec­om­mend anger man­age­ment for him.

Just re­mem­ber though; NO-ONE should lay their hands on you, so don’t let ar­gu­ments get that far.

Good Luck!.

Love, Vikki

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