Most fans would trample a granny to swap places with City

CLUELESS clowns, bar room bores and Facebook freaks – all as big a part of modern football as Sky Sports News and pink boots.

You all know them – they spout bollocks. Yet they do it with such confidence you almost believe them. Almost. Especially after a few bevvies.

Such tools are now populating the nation’s airwaves to laugh at Manchester City as though the club has just turned to dust.

Don’t get me wrong, City’s Devon Loch-style collapse is, of course, amusing.

It would be chuckleworthy whichever team it was – we all love a bit of failure in this country. Particularly when a load of millionaires are involved.

What we also seem to love is crisis talk. Even when there isn’t one. F*** me sideways if that’s a crisis at the Etihad.

Granted the title has gone, barring some divine intervention, and that’s hard to take for the Blues after they topped the table by seven points.

City have been on a downward tumble for a while – like a crystal cock you could see it coming. But crisis? Do me a favour. So they finish second. No trophy, no open-top bus. But still their best finish in a lifetime.

Back in the Champions League next season with a top squad, a great ground and cash in the bank.

Millions of footie fans would trample on a granny to see their team swap places with City. nd while getting gunned down by Arsenal on Sunday ended their title dreams, it also means there’s a good chance £23million clown Mario Balotelli will skip off into the sunset and take his sideshow with him.

Another distraction – Carlos Tevez – may join him through the exit door, as could Roberto

AMancini. But City will simply employ another top-class manager, pluck another dead-eye striker from the shelf and keep pushing for the inevitable – the title.

The cream of the players at City – Yaya Toure, Vincent Kompany, Joe Hart, David Silva and Sergio Aguero – now have the vital run-in nous that has been lacking this time around.

Cliché alert, but you can’t buy that experience. Last season City finished third, this season most likely second… next season?

Blackburn finished second in 1994 and won it in 1995. Chelsea were runners-up in 2004 before going on to win it in 2005 and 2006.

If that form was in the paper in the bookies you’d have a pop, wouldn’t you? But back to the “crisis”. One national phone-in moron bumbled his way through some guffawing bollocks at the weekend about there never being a collapse like City’s in the Premier League. f Kevin Keegan was listening I bet that added a bit of the old frizz to his mullet. His Newcastle side led by 12 points in 1996 and they still blew it. King Kev wasn’t loving it when, guess who, Man United won it then.

Pub bores can shuffle packets of nuts all they want – it’s not easy to win the league. Especially when your last one was 1968.

But winning is a habit and so is playing under pressure.

United are old hands at it. City, as it has proved, aren’t. Only FOUR teams have won the Premier League – Manchester United, Arsenal, Blackburn and Chelsea. FOUR f***ing teams in 20 YEARS!

Think what you like about City, but at least they’re making it interesting. Next season I reckon they will make it very interesting.

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