BE­COM­ING A MILF IS NOT A BAD THING

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

POOR Kerry Ka­tona has been dumped again. That poor girl seems to be so un­lucky in love.

She just can’t seem to hold a man down.

I re­ally think she should for­get about men for a while and get her­self to­gether.

It’s time for her to en­joy be­ing sin­gle and get her head sorted.

Most peo­ple are once bit­ten twice shy – but she’s been bit­ten so many times and it never seems to put her off!

She should try fo­cus­ing on her­self for a bit and stop lean­ing on a guy all the time. She needs to re­alise that she doesn’t need a man in her life. MY 34th birthday last week was bloody bril­liant. I had been feel­ing a bit de­pressed about get­ting older but I had such a great day.

And I think it helped that I was pre­tend­ing I was still 24!

We kicked off the night with a lovely meal and then headed to a great club over here in Mar­bella called Aqua Mist.

It was a real blast – I ended up so drunk – I reckon I must have downed about seven bot­tles of Lau­rent Per­rier cham­pagne all to my­self.

I danced my tits off all night. They were play­ing loads of good 80s mu­sic which suited the night.

And it cer­tainly cheered me up af­ter feel­ing low about get­ting old.

Ear­lier in the week I had bumped into a good friend of my Lucy Becker ( right) so she came along to join us for my big night out.

She is a re­ally good laugh and we had loads of fun.

At one point I de­cided I would dance on the ta­ble so up I jumped, but as I did so the ta­ble tipped up and loads of bot­tles and glasses went fly­ing and I cut my knee on the bro­ken glass.

That was the only time I thought maybe it was time to grow up!

The next morn­ing I woke up with a stink­ing han­gover and then I re­ally did feel my age.

But I have de­cided that I am go­ing to em­brace get­ting older and I am adapt­ing to be­ing a MILF.

I am quite happy be­ing a MILF! TO­MOR­ROW I am go­ing paraglid­ing and al­though I am pet­ri­fied I am also weirdly ex­cited.

It will be scary but I am a bit of an adren­a­line junkie and I reckon it will be fun.

I’ve al­ways to try load of dar­ing stuff – I’ve done bungee jump­ing al­ready – so I reckon I’ve just got sky div­ing left on my list of things to try now.

That’s on my list for next year. I’m go­ing to do it for char­ity and see how much I can raise by throw­ing my­self out of a plane!

Bumped

LIKE most of the coun­try I am a bit gut­ted that the Olympics have come to an end.

I watched Mo Farah win the 5,000 me­tres and it was just amaz­ing. I had my tele­vi­sion out on my bal­cony.

There’s an apart­ment block near my villa and there are quite a few English peo­ple liv­ing in them.

When Mo crossed the fin­ish line to win the gold medal I did a re­ally loud wolf whis­tle to cel­e­brate and all of a sud­den loads of other peo­ple started cheer­ing and whistling back.

It was like a mini cel­e­bra­tion in south­ern Spain!

Now I am look­ing for­ward to the Par­a­lympics start­ing in a cou­ple of weeks time.

Wheel­chair ath­lete David Weir, who is just amaz­ing, grew up on the same es­tate as me the Round­shaw Es­tate in Sut­ton in Sur­rey.

Peo­ple of­ten joke that me and him are the big­gest things to ever come out of there!

I’ve known David ( be­low) since he was lit­tle and we lit­er­ally grew up to­gether.

He is a re­ally lovely lad.

If he wins to add to his two gold medals from Bei­jing they will paint a post­box gold and I re­ally hope he can do it.

I have sent him a mes­sage on Face­book to wish him luck and he sent me a re­ally nice re­ply. I will be watch­ing ev­ery event he’s in and I reckon I’ll be cheer­ing the loud­est!

LAUGH: My mate Lucy is good fun

you fans.

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