Wouldn’t it be nice if Korea wasn’t there?

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NORTH Korea – the itchy bum-hole of the earth.

No mat­ter how much you scratch the thing, it never really goes away.

In hap­pier, more sen­si­ble times, rep­re­sen­ta­tives of the Great Bri­tish Em­pire would have ca­su­ally doused the place in petrol, tossed a match, then non­cha­lantly strolled away in search of a good pot of tea with a plate of crust-free cu­cum­ber sand­wiches, and the thrill of a game of bil­liards with that good old fel­low, Bunny. Alas, that is no longer the case. To­day we have to put aside our cen­turies old thirst for mur­der­ous glory and in­stead in­dulge the mi­nor­ity san­dal­wear­ers who by re­mark­able stealth have man­aged to take over our once Lion­heart-led na­tion.

Dis­turb­ing, isn’t it, that a land like ours that quite lit­er­ally once first dis­cov­ered and then ruled the bloody waves is now con­trolled by a bunch of tw*ts in tank tops who cry “ne­go­ti­ate” at the first sign of trou­ble?

North Korea has said its lat­est nu­clear test was “to pro­tect our na­tional se­cu­rity and sovereignty against the reck­less hos­til­ity of the United States”.

Well, I hope the US does what it does best – or maybe sec­ond best, af­ter killing al­lies in friendly fire – and blows the place to f***ing bits in re­tal­i­a­tion.

The fact is, other than mad lead­ers to laugh at, the only tan­gi­ble thing the world gets out of North Korea is grief.

Sorry for the poor sods liv­ing there who are un­der the cosh, and all that.

But the West has enough prob­lems of its own.

It’s time to re­turn that grief to sender.

Kim Jong Il F***ing c**t!

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