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AL­CA­TEL ONE­TOUCH T’POP – VIR­GIN MO­BILE – £39.99 THIS is my ideal phone. It’s small enough to make me look like a nor­mal­sized per­son!

Many phones nowa­days are run­ning the “big­ger is bet­ter phi­los­o­phy”, but un­less you’re a bas­ket­ball player you just can’t pull them off.

You end up lug­ging a huge piece of tech around that barely fits in your pocket and makes you look like a grade A dip­shit when you hoist it up to your ear.

That isn’t the case with the Al­ca­tel. It’s sim­ple, com­pact and doesn’t look like a prop from Trig­ger Happy TV.


The com­par­i­son be­tween this and the Galaxy Note 2 that I re­viewed a few weeks back is stag­ger­ing. Imag­ine me stood next to some­one re­ally re­ally tall… you get the idea.

The fact of the mat­ter is some phones to­day have just passed be­yond the laws of logic in search of big­ger and brighter screens. The T’POP doesn’t do that. It’s not try­ing to out­punch the heavy­weights. It’s try­ing to find its niche and be happy.

It’s a cheap, en­try level model which does ex­actly what you need it to. No fancy ex­tras that, de­spite cost­ing you an ex­tra £200, don’t of­fer much.

Run­ning the 2.3 Gin­ger­bread An­droid op­er­at­ing sys­tem, it doesn’t have the same speed as the more re­cent Jelly Bean ver­sion. That said, there’s a rea­son Gin­ger­bread is the sec­ond most com­mon ver­sion of the soft­ware.

It works ex­tremely well and it’s a lot smoother than it has any right to be. You can flick through the dif­fer­ent screens seam­lessly and, due to its crisp THE MIGHTY BOOM BALL – £15 THIS is a fancy lit­tle speaker which uses the power of vi­bra­tion to de­liver a de­cent sound wher­ever you are.

Ask any mid­dle aged woman who’s read Fifty Shades of Grey and they will tell you just how good vi­bra­tion can be.

Sim­ply pop it onto a sur­face and in next to no time you’ll be able to hear per­fect qual­ity sound from what looked like a tiny use­less ball

colours, ev­ery­thing easy to make out. A 3.5-inch dis­play of­fers you all the view­ing plea­sure you need but, let’s be hon­est, no woman is spec­tac­u­larly im­pressed with 3.5 inches.

Tthat’s not what this phone is about. It’s not a state­ment of how rich you are… just a phone. It’s for peo­ple who just want to get a few apps but are not look­ing to brag all the time.

It plods along well and feels sturdy in your hand, un­like some other of­fer­ings which feel like a vi­o­lent sneeze away from smash­ing into a mil­lion pieces.

There’s also some de­cent pre-loaded apps. The stan­dard Face­book and Twit­ter so you can post all about your new mo­bile, and with the Google Play store thou­sands more

is are just a click away. The 2-megapixel cam­era is noth­ing to write home about, but on the small, brightly coloured screen the im­ages still look half de­cent.

It has an SD slot for up to 32GB which is more than enough room for video’s and mu­sic. You will have to buy that sep­a­rately though.

With­out the added ex­tra it can still hold plenty of songs. I’m not go­ing to be able to get my en­tire Westlife discog­ra­phy on there, how­ever.

It comes in your choice of colours in­clud­ing manly pink.

Be warned, though, hav­ing a small com­pact pink phone will make you look like you’re on a gay pride march in Brighton.

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