SHE’S BRITAIN’S ONLY TOPLESS COLUMNIST

I AM back on Redlight Central this Saturday and Sunday and I have been given my own channel.

From now on I will always be on channel 932, so you lot never need to miss out.

On Saturday I am planning a special office set to celebrate and it is going to be HOTTER than ever.

A friend of mine has bought me a pair of Louboutin heels and I will be wearing them live on the telly.

They are called Pigalles and they are the sexiest shoes I have ever seen – so thank you to the person who bought them for me. You know who you are! I will be wearing a skin tight skirt, tiny low-cut blouse and a push-up bra, so make sure you tune in this Saturday and Sunday August 10-11 10pm-5.30am Channel 932. I HAVE reached 62,000 followers on Twitter which I am totally amazed about.

To celebrate I decided to Tweet a few famous people for a laugh.

I sent a Tweet to Ashley Cole after seeing a girl was trying to sell a webcam sex video of him.

I thought I would be a bit cheeky so I told him that he should get himself on Adultwork.

He could make a fortune!

As least he knows that when he’s too old to play football he can carve out a career for himself on the webcams.

To be honest, he doesn’t seem like the sharpest tool in the box so I don’t think he’s got a glittering presenting career ahead of him.

I reckon Adultwork is his best option!