Justin Dunn’s WHAT’S AN­NOY­ING HIM Clegg’s prom­ises not worth a magic bean

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

NICK Clegg could have stood up this week and promised free golden eggs and a bag of magic beans to ev­ery child in the coun­try.

All pen­sion­ers would be given a free man­sion to live in with 24/7 but­ler ser­vice and a herd of tame uni­corns to watch trot­ting around in the ex­ten­sive grounds.

Un­lim­ited re­sources for the NHS would be paid for by melt­ing down the bul­lion of billionaires who wouldn’t mind one jot, be­cause they’ll just go and earn another bil­lion for Clegg to burn.

Wars would end, dis­ease would be no more, wages would tre­ble and the cli­mate would stop, er, “chang­ing”.

He could have said all that be­cause right now it doesn’t mat­ter WHAT he says.

Clegg may still some­where in his lit­tle dream­world think that he may once again hold the bal­ance of power in another hung par­lia­ment.

But he can’t. This is after all the man who boosted univer­sity tu­ition fees to £9,000 a year and beyond, so one tra­di­tional sec­tion of his vote – stu­dents – is long gone. Va­moosed.

And it’s not just stu­dents who are de­sert­ing the Lib Dems in droves.

The dreaded polls – ad­mit­tedly not al­ways right, but in this case they’re con­sis­tent – pre­dict vir­tual wipe out for his party at the gen­eral elec­tion in May.

Which means Clegg and Co and any prom­ises they make are as rel­e­vant as squashed ants.

And did you hap­pen to see any of the Lib-Dems’ per­for­mances at their con­fer­ence in Glas­gow?

If un­like me you ac­tu­ally have a life, prob­a­bly not.

But some of it was pure com­edy gold. Even dur­ing Clegg’s speech – nor­mally the big­gest crowd puller – vast swathes of the con­fer­ence hall were empty and in the seats that did have del­e­gates, most seemed to have dozed off.

And if only you had seen th­ese Lib Dem del­e­gates them­selves.

Trust me, they looked like the sort of peo­ple of­ten found sift­ing around char­ity shops wear­ing thick glasses pre­scribed for some­one else and stink­ing a bit musty.

Or as David Cameron might de­scribe them, a bunch of fruit­cakes and loonies…

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