Brits ‘average’ bonkers says poll

“Note: telling him very explicitly that you want anal while you’re already having sex with him will have the best results. That’s like a golden ticket for most guys.

“A sexier approach to telling him you want anal sex is not to tell him, but to show him. Let him watch you play alone, perhaps with a small vibe or even a plug, and put it everywhere you want him.

“It’ll drive him crazy, and you’ll certainly get what you want, where you want it.”

The best position for rear action is ‘spooning’. The piece adds: “Start with her laying on her side with her back to you, and you behind her.

“It’s comfy, her bodyweight is supported and her muscles are relaxed. Then pull out of her and rub yourself against her butt.” Also important is to ALWAYS use lube. The nookie boffin explains: “Apply enough lube to squeeze a manatee through a letterbox, and then apply more. The more lube involved, the more pleasurable it will be for both of you. It’s as simple as that.

Our busty 32F pin-up Katy Keller, 24, says she’s well up for having her back doors smashed in, as Keith Lemon would put it!

The model, from Derby, giggled: “Yes, I’ve tried anal a couple of times and it’s been really nice.” BASHFUL Britain is a nation of ‘average’ shaggers, according to a new study.

As a country we refuse to big-up our prowess between the sheets, with only 10 per cent rating their sexual performances as ‘very good’.

And a whopping 43 per cent rated their most recent lover as just ‘average’ between the sheets.

A spokesman for the research – which was a follow-up to a previous survey in 2008 – said: “The reasons are unclear but the poll shows that the national libido has declined significantly since 2008.

“Then, 44% of the population rated their sex drive above average. That figure has now fallen to 34%.

“It’s not just libido that has declined – so has confidence in our own performance.

“In 2008, 55% of Britons considered themselves to have above average prowess as a lover.

“That figure has nosedived, to 33%, with the majority (58%) now rating themselves as solidly average. This loss of confidence has been felt particularly acutely by men.

“Last time, men were significantly more likely than women to rate themselves above average. Now just 33% of both genders rate themselves above average.

Some crumbs of comfort from the research include a whopping 79 per cent of males ‘happy’ with their knob size, while the majority of us are having sex at least once a month, and a third have shagged a work colleague.