Brits ‘av­er­age’ bonkers says poll

Midweek Sport - - SPORT -

“Note: telling him very ex­plic­itly that you want anal while you’re al­ready hav­ing sex with him will have the best re­sults. That’s like a golden ticket for most guys.

“A sex­ier ap­proach to telling him you want anal sex is not to tell him, but to show him. Let him watch you play alone, per­haps with a small vibe or even a plug, and put it ev­ery­where you want him.

“It’ll drive him crazy, and you’ll cer­tainly get what you want, where you want it.”

The best po­si­tion for rear ac­tion is ‘spoon­ing’. The piece adds: “Start with her lay­ing on her side with her back to you, and you be­hind her.

“It’s comfy, her body­weight is sup­ported and her mus­cles are re­laxed. Then pull out of her and rub your­self against her butt.” Also im­por­tant is to AL­WAYS use lube. The nookie bof­fin ex­plains: “Ap­ply enough lube to squeeze a man­a­tee through a let­ter­box, and then ap­ply more. The more lube in­volved, the more plea­sur­able it will be for both of you. It’s as sim­ple as that.

Our busty 32F pin-up Katy Keller, 24, says she’s well up for hav­ing her back doors smashed in, as Keith Le­mon would put it!

The model, from Derby, gig­gled: “Yes, I’ve tried anal a cou­ple of times and it’s been re­ally nice.” BASH­FUL Bri­tain is a na­tion of ‘av­er­age’ shag­gers, ac­cord­ing to a new study.

As a coun­try we refuse to big-up our prow­ess be­tween the sheets, with only 10 per cent rat­ing their sex­ual per­for­mances as ‘very good’.

And a whop­ping 43 per cent rated their most re­cent lover as just ‘av­er­age’ be­tween the sheets.

A spokesman for the re­search – which was a follow-up to a pre­vi­ous survey in 2008 – said: “The rea­sons are un­clear but the poll shows that the na­tional libido has de­clined sig­nif­i­cantly since 2008.

“Then, 44% of the pop­u­la­tion rated their sex drive above av­er­age. That fig­ure has now fallen to 34%.

“It’s not just libido that has de­clined – so has con­fi­dence in our own per­for­mance.

“In 2008, 55% of Bri­tons con­sid­ered them­selves to have above av­er­age prow­ess as a lover.

“That fig­ure has nose­dived, to 33%, with the majority (58%) now rat­ing them­selves as solidly av­er­age. This loss of con­fi­dence has been felt par­tic­u­larly acutely by men.

“Last time, men were sig­nif­i­cantly more likely than women to rate them­selves above av­er­age. Now just 33% of both gen­ders rate them­selves above av­er­age.

Some crumbs of com­fort from the re­search in­clude a whop­ping 79 per cent of males ‘happy’ with their knob size, while the majority of us are hav­ing sex at least once a month, and a third have shagged a work col­league.

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