WHO SHAT ON OAP’S MAT?

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

A RE­TIRED din­ner lady is at the cen­tre of a POO-DUN­NIT after some­one defe­cated out­side her home and left a SHIT-STAINED towel on her door­mat.

El­iz­a­beth Burgess, 61, who found the hu­man fae­ces on a ta­ble out­side her front door, said: “The smell hit me – it was so pun­gent and ran­cid. It made me want to vomit.

“Who­ever did it needs a slap. How dare they come and sit on my ta­ble to do their business!”

El­iz­a­beth had to clean up the mess at her flat in New South­gate, north London, after Bar­net coun­cil’s health and safety team told her no-one was avail­able.

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