Power couple’s glam slam

Len Goodman.

Nestling in the 3.45pm to 4.30pm slot, this is television for people whose carers have warned them off watching Deal Or No Deal because it’s too much of an emotional rollercoaster – and gets them all worked up before their mashed banana at teatime.

Every episode sees Goodman meet up with a celebrity in a holiday resort they went to as a kid.

So far he has met up with Hairy Biker Dave Myers in the Isle of Man and strolled around the Isle of Wight with cock-shaped carrot-connoisseur Esther Rantzen.

But here’s the problem – or one of them at least. Myers’ holiday took place when he was ten, Rantzen’s when she was just six.

Kids of that age love holidays because they get fed a lot of sugar and can charge around all day.

But two weeks later they couldn’t tell you if they’d been on the Isle of Man, the Isle of Wight or the Isle of chuffin’ Dogs.

Rantzen talked a good game but the old girl had obviously not got a Scooby about what together for a year, but Tash was preggo within three months.

It must have been weird for her to see her belly again – once it stuck out further than her trout pout.

The show claims to offer a mix of showbiz glamour and mundane chores, but this episode was low on glamour.

There was a sprinkling of it when some fans mobbed them for photographs in Tesco.

Then again, the Tesco was in leafy Cheshire and Tash is a Scouser – so she must be well used to being followed around that store by a man with a camera. Even if he is just the security guard.

In Uncle Len’s rose-tinted world, everything is simply smashing.

He never lets on that most British holiday towns of that era were damp-ridden hovels inhabited by surly inbreds – which is why we all jumped on a flight to Mallorca for sea, sangria and skin cancer at the earliest opportunity.

But why bother the daytime audience with a bit of truth, eh? It’ll only make them choke on their mashed banana. DID you know that the Brummie lad from 5ive and the dirty looking one from Atomic Kitten – OK, the dirtiest looking one from Atomic Kitten – are an item these days?

Nor did I until I watched the flagship offering from new cable channel ITVBe.

Seven Days With showed us a week in the life of Ritchie Neville and Natasha Hamilton, pop music’s latest “power couple” – assuming you don’t mind your power couples having about as much juice as those two AA batteries rolling around your kitchen draw since Christmas 2007.

They have only

been