We need this like a hole in the head!

you feeling a bit depressed now that the festive season is over?

Do you need something to cheer you up on these cold, dark January nights?

Well, fear not because Silent Witness is back on BBC1 – and it’s all about a serial killer picking off innocent folk with a sniper’s rifle. Happy New Year, folks! The victims so far include: An excited young woman looking forward to her imminent wedding. Bang! A nice chap who mows the lawns for free at the local war veterans’ home. Bang! A young couple mourning the recent death of their baby daughter. Bang! Bang! Oh yes, and an extra “Bang!” for the Good Samaritan who tried to help them.

Those last three were killed on a petrol station forecourt, which is just bloody lovely. The price of unleaded nudges below £1.10 for the first time in a decade but can we just enjoy it? Oh no!

Instead of fretting about leaving the entire content of our wallets in the till, we have to worry about leaving the contents of our skull all over the forecourt.

Shows like this are not just bad for our mental health. They are bad for our waistlines, too.

We don’t need horse-faced Katie Hopkins (see below) telling us why we’re all fat knackers.

It is all Silent Witness’s fault for making us afraid to go outside just as we were promising to take up jogging for our New Year’s resolution.

The irony is that the sniper is said to be working around the M25.

At this time of the year, there must be loads of people doing that horrible commute for the first time after Christmas, and they are probably wishing someone WOULD take them out with a high velocity round.

With another 12 months of the dreaded rat race ahead of us – and with shows like this making us all bloody terrified and miserable – it’s a wonder we don’t all start painting targets on our windscreens.