Jezz and Co take their foot off the gas

Midweek Sport - - NEWS -

opened its new se­ries with a fun fact from Jeremy Clark­son: “That thing be­tween the anus and the scro­tum is called the per­ineum.”

That’s funny be­cause I al­ways thought it was called Richard Hammond. BANTER! Oh well, I’m sure Jezza, James and Richard won’t mind. Those lads (aged 54, 52 and 45) love a bit of spon­ta­neous piss-tak­ing.

If they didn’t, why put it into the scripts?

Don’t get me wrong. I still love Top Gear and I’m de­lighted to see it back for a proper run of TEN episodes.

How­ever, the first one felt more like a trib­ute act than the orig­i­nal TV bad boy. It was Top Gear by num­bers.

A wacky race across a pretty Euro­pean city? Check.

Some grum­bling about speed cam­eras? Check.

Hammond get­ting semi-erect over a su­per­car that only he, May and Clark­son could af­ford? BBC pay cheque check.

The funny thing about that last item was Hammond’s com­plaint that the car – a Lam­borgh­ini Hu­ra­can – was too bril­liantly en­gi­neered.

He said it was not crazy and un­pre­dictable enough to be a proper Lambo and had clearly been de­signed to sell to a global mar­ket.

Some might say Top Gear has the same prob­lem. For the first time, this se­ries is be­ing broad­cast live across the world so those lu­cra­tive for­eign au­di­ences can watch it at the same time as us.

Per­haps that is why the first episode felt like a great­est hits al­bum. They were play­ing it oh so safe.

This might also explain why the usual for­eigner-bash­ing was kept to a bare min­i­mum.

Or maybe that was be­cause their jolly was to St Petersburg, in Rus­sia. It’s one thing to mock a Mex­i­can or rile a Red­neck but quite an­other to ran­kle a Rus­sian, eh Jezza, even if you are best mates with our PM?

Take the piss out of Ruskies on their home turf and our boys would have been thrown into a Siberian labour camp be­fore you could say “Per­e­stroika”.

Or in­deed “per­ineum”.

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