Olympic Games are all Greek to me…

said for the 100mph whirlwind of a “sport” called golf. Why is golf in the Olympics? Is it because it’s about the only pastime members of the Olympic Committee are able to take part in themselves?

Golf could quite easily be known by another title – “a walk”. Or “a walk while someone holds your bag while you stroll around dressed like a massive twat”.

Yet the powers that be decided that for some reason, despite there being Opens and Ryder Cups every year, golf still somehow needed to be in the Olympics. Same with tennis. You’d think the Andy Murrays of the world would be happy with the glamorous, high-profile Grand Slam tournaments they clean up in…but no.

Of course, golfers and tennis players tend to be massively sponsored, and organisers will be hoping those same sponsors will support them, too – so all are welcomed in with open arms.

But working on that basis, what next? The sight of Lewis Hamilton doing lap after lap of the Olympic stadium in his F1 jalopy?

And how do they decide what’s a worthy sport for the Games or not?

Can we expect base jumpers leaping off skyscrapers in the future, or perhaps a 400m space hopper relay?

At least then perhaps we would understand why so many athletes feel the need to take performance-enhancing drugs.

And I just wonder what the ancient Greeks would have made of it all.

When the Games first started the competitors – all of whom were male – would perform NAKED.

So congratulations on at least one level to the organisers for casually allowing the female beach volleyball players to pretty much do the same.