AGONY QUICKIES

MY bit-on-the-side was giving me a blowjob in the back garden while my wife was at work.

I was just about to shoot my load when I noticed the blinds twitching next door.

And out of the corner of my eye I saw my dirty old bastard neighbour having a wank!

I went to complain but the daft old c**t said he’d tell my missus unless he could watch us f**k while he jerked off. What should I do?

PL, Derby

Kelly says…

SOUNDS like the old bugger has you snookered. I LOVE my missus very much and we have a great sex life together.

But after the birth of our first child last year, she went off nookie.

So I didn’t resist when her mother tossed me off at a drunken party.

She’s a busty blonde in her 40s and she said our ‘little secret’ is safe.

I now go round and get sucked off by her once a week but I’m worried my girl will find out. Please help!

DD, Middlesbrough

Kelly says…

END it with the mum – NOW!