Randy wife goes bananas for fruity sex sessions!

I’M a 32-year-old bloke with a healthy sexual appetite, in contrast to my wife who has turned into a frigid lump of lard. Before we were wed she would happily take my hard eight-incher in her mouth and suck me off. And I was adventurous when it came to shagging. I would go down on her, lapping at her moist fanny until a tidal wave of her hot juices flooded into my mouth and all over my chin. And I remember one time when she left me tied up in the bedroom with silk scarves, in preparation for a kinky bondage session. I could hear her rummaging about downstairs for something and when she returned to the bedroom a few minutes later I was in for the thrill of my life. She had a couple of bananas and was wearing a saucy grin on her face. She took the first one and, spreading her wet pussy lips, plunged it in to her dripping fanny – over and over. She thrust it deep and hard until the skin burst and she screamed in ecstacy as her juices mingled with the sticky mashed banana – it was a treat to gobble up! Then it was my turn. She rolled me on to my front and proceeded to ease the second banana up my arse! Again the skin burst, covering us in more mashed banana – which we then licked off each other’s sweaty bodies.

Night after night we used all sorts of fruit and toys on each other – our sex sessions usually finishing with me unloading a stream of hot spunk on to her face and tits.

We even went online and bought a sex swing. Christ! The things we did on that.

I can’t believe I got to work in a morning after another nocturnal session of slamming the salami into her while she rocked backwards and forwards. But now sex has really gone off the boil. We just do it in the missionary position because she simply can’t be bothered to do anything different.

Mostly she just wanks me off which, to be honest, she is great at and makes me cum buckets. But I’m worried I am enjoying hand relief more than sex. And her weight has ballooned, too. How can I get out of this terrible mess?

KL, Brentford

Kelly says…

BUY some fresh bananas and tie her up!