F** k that... let’s have one for Harry’s stag!

(Then the whole nation can get pissed with him) A Bank Holiday for the Royal wedding? I WANNA GET PISSED WITH HARRY!

THERE is no escaping it – there is a Royal Wedding on the way!

Prince Harry is to take his actress fiancée Meghan Markle up the aisle in a glittering ceremony at Windsor Castle next May.

Of course, the usual suspects have been calling for the day to be announced as a Bank Holiday – so the nation can share the happy couple’s big day from the comfort of their sofas.

But here at Sport Towers, we’re saying: “F**K THAT!”

No, instead of spending a mind-numbing day listening to the BBC’s royal man Nicholas Witchell droning on about dresses and diamonds, we reckon we’ve got a MUCH better idea.

We say there should indeed be a Bank Holiday – not for the wedding, but for Harry’s STAG DO!

That way the whole country could join in a right royal piss-up to toast our ginger war hero.

Imagine it – proud Brits up and down the land necking the silly juice in honour of Harry and Meghan.

And we’d go one step further, too – we want ANOTHER Bank Holiday the day after to recover from what will be mind-blowing hangovers. It’s not like it hasn’t been done before. The Scots traditionally get two days off at New Year to allow them to get some haggis down them to soak up their Hogmanay Buckfast and Frosty Jack ciderfest.

Respected royal historian Bertie Hammond is backing our campaign which he says could spark a sea-change in how Britain – and the rest of the world – sees us.

He said: “This would be a great opportunity for Brexit Britain to properly demonstrate to the rest of the world exactly who we are.

“We’re proud of our Royal Family – some of them, anyway, not necessarily Prince Edward – and we love necking ale until we black out.

“This way we can do both while cheering along Harry and Meghan and putting millions into the tills of our struggling pubs.” The Sport – WE do the thinking while YOU do the drinking. Cheers!