THE WORLD FAMOUS AGONY page

Dear Kelly, LAST week I was due to fly to Milan for a business meeting.

As I checked in I clocked a stunning woman in a black dress and jacket, with long raven hair and fantastic breasts.

She beckoned me over and I was gobsmacked when, straight out, she asked in a thick Italian accent if I wanted “to f**k”.

We hurried into a cubicle in the gents where she ripped her blouse open to reveal her fabulous melons and I soon had my gob round her nipples.

As I hitched up her skirt and fingered her dripping pussy she squeezed my balls and massaged my cock.

Then she quickly undid my flies and I rammed my throbbing manhood up her.

When we’d both climaxed she did herself up and walked off without a word. But I missed the flight and now I’ve been sacked – should I tell the wife?

NC, Wilts Kelly says… TELL her you’ve had a rise – it’s true! But don’t mention the Italian job! Dear Kelly, I RECENTLY asked my girlfriend if she was interested in dabbling with some “backdoor fun”. At first, she told me she had reservations, but finally agreed – on the understanding that we BOTH try it.

So now she wants to strap on a big, f**k-off dildo and do ME up the shitter, before she’ll allow me to shag her bumhole.

I know it may seem like double standards, but I feel anal for women has become “the norm” between heterosexual couples, whereas for the man to receive “pegging” seems a little bit “abnormal” to me. On a purely physical level I have no real problem doing it. But my issue lies with if – or when – I ever finish with her, how much shit will I get from my mates down the pub if she ever tells them about our intimate anal frolics.

Please help! AN, Bristol Kelly says… IF it’s OK for her to take it up the arse, then it should be the same for you. Dear Kelly, I’M a salesman and I was out promoting goods in a supermarket last week when I caught the eye of a pretty female shop assistant.

We chatted a couple of times during the day and I noticed she was flirting quite openly with me – which was very flattering.

Then she sidled up to me at the end of the day and asked if I minded giving her a lift to the bus stop, just down the end of the road.

I agreed – thinking it would at least give me the chance to get her phone number.

But I hadn’t even switched on the ignition before she was trying to unzip my flies!

She told me she knew of a quiet lane nearby, but when we got there it was well-lit and we had to nip into a field next to it – by which time she’d already slipped off her knickers.

I got stuck into her and she clawed at my back with her long fingernails as I pumped long, hard and deep into her wet fanny.

Afterwards, I took my muddy clothes to a launderette and washed them there.

And I thought I’d got away with it but the next day my wife found the girl’s undercrackers stuffed under the passenger seat in our car, and she kicked me out. Help!

IH, Kent Kelly says… BEG for forgiveness..