AGONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN ASSOCIATION

I AM a lawnmower repair man and I get around nd to quite a few big, posh houses.

As you can imagine, some of my clients are rich women who don’t get a decent porking from their get-ahead business-type siness-type husbands who spend most of their days jetting around the e globe drumming up trade for their multi-national companies.

I find most of these men are more interested in n their business than they are their wives. And that’s where I come in I try to give more than just a blade sharpening ing and I have about four clients on the go at any one time. The services rvices I offer include giving them a damn good shafting, of course.

Lately, though, this old bird has been telling me she’s going to leave her husband and she wants to shack up with me.

How do I tell her it’s only her minge I want? CC, Merseyside YOU don’t seem to be the most t tactful of men. Tell her you think she needs to try to get t closer to her husband. SOME of my mates have been giving me real eal grief over my new girlfriend.

She’s quite a good looker but she’s – how do I put this – been around the block a bit.

She’s 10 years older than me and most of my mates have shagged her at some time or another.

None of this really bothers me as I believe everyone’s entitled to a past, and mine isn’t exactly unblemished.

The thing that really bothers me though is her r toes. I’m a bit of a foot man and it was only when I went down to give e her pinkies a bit of a nibble that I saw she has really unkempt toenails ails and it put me off.

Some of them were yellow and her cuticles es were a total mess. Nothing that a decent pedicure wouldn’t sort out, but it still knocked me back a bit.

The thing is, I really do like her and want to continue seeing her. How do I tell her that her toes disgust, me? DW, Herts WHY don’t you give her a pedicure re yourself? Then you could take your love of feet a bit further, her, no?