THE WORLD FAMOUS AGONY

Dear Sam,

I’M a 36-year-old divorced woman and the other week I bumped into an old school pal I hadn’t seen for 20 years.

I invited her round to my place for a meal and she revealed she hadn’t made love to a man since her husband left her.

I said she must be feeling terribly frustrated but she laughed and said: “That does not mean I haven’t had sex.”

I didn’t understand what she meant until she pushed me back on the sofa, easing my thighs apart. She pulled my panties aside and probed my pussy with her fingers and then the tip of her firm tongue.

It seemed like only seconds before I was experiencing the most powerful orgasm I have ever felt.

For the rest of the evening we sucked, licked and finger-f**ked each other to orgasm after orgasm.

Now I’m feeling confused. I don’t know whether I’ve been a latent lesbian all along or whether this was just a boozy one-off.

TF, Derby

Sam says…

THIS is something you’ll have to explore further with your friend.

Dear Sam,

MY mate’s mum looks just like the actress Helen Mirren, except she’s a bit younger than her and has got bigger tits – plus she always wears some sort of lurid pink all-in-one get-up and talks in a very broad Yorkshire accent.

Nonetheless, last week she sucked me off after we’d had a few drinks in the pub. She dragged me into an alley at the back of the boozer and whipped my rock-hard cock out.

She was pissed and took me right to the back of her throat. When I erupted in her gob, she swallowed the lot like a real trooper.

I was about to do her from behind when my mate came out of the pub to see what was going on. He was furious with us both and now he won’t talk to me.

The trouble is he’s got my best jumper and I need it back for a date with his sister!

Sam says…

YOU’RE having a laugh – wear a shirt! HV, Leeds