HE’S BACK! JUSTIN DUNN’S ROOM 101 WHAT’S ANNOYING HIM THIS WEEK?

Open golf courses to the public... it’ll really piss off the toffs

THERE’S a classic joke about two old duffers doddering about on the green at the 17th hole when a hearse trundles past on the road nearby.

One of them turns towards it, removes his cap and bows his head, as his playing partner remarks: “That’s very respectful of you, Bunny.”

“It’s the least I could do, Teddy,” replies the golfer, twitching his moustache. “After all, we’ve been married for 55 years.”

One day, science – if we haven’t all melted to death by then – will explain why bewildering numbers of golfers, for reasons known only to them, think they’re on a different plain to the rest of us.

Their self-righteousness is so shrieking it’s probably on a par – ahem – with those who agree that a teen with mental health problems knows more about climate than anyone else.

So yes, it’s right that people are suggesting that golf courses – shut thanks to this sodding epidemic – should be unlocked and used as open spaces for our recommended hour’s exercise every day.

They are vast, everywhere.

And social distancing – which should now be adopted in supermarkets until the end of time – could easily be achieved.

And if nothing else, it’ll really piss off the toffs in their terrible jumpers and ridiculous shoes who seek to protect their tidy, manicured lawns at any cost.

If we’re “all in this together” – a phrase we hoped had died along with George Osborne’s political career – then let’s see them prove it.

Because a golf course is little more than a big, private park with a few holes in it. empty and