ROOM 101 Snitch law could spark civil war!
Stormed out of your front door to complain about his kids kicking the football against your garage?
Shouted at his mates for carelessly parking across your drive?
Asked him to turn the music down seeing as its four o’clock in the frigging morning?
Then you’ll know how frosty things quickly then become – and with little hope of a thaw.
We used to live next door to a moron whose out of control German shepherd, that he let roam free in our shared drive, would frequently attack our gentle collie as we took her out for a walk on a lead for no reason other than it could.
Dickhead
It wasn’t the neighbour’s dog’s fault – she was just lumbered with an aggressive dickhead for an owner – but when the fur flew it could leave our pooch a quivering wreck.
So chatting over the fence about the weather or the roses was definitely not part of our shared repertoire.
These are unpleasant, uncomfortable problems already faced every day by people up and down the United Kingdom – and it’s about to get much, much worse.
The Government now wants you and me to police their ludicrous semi-lockdown rules (although how you can have a semi-lockdown is beyond me).
From now on, keep your mobile handy to be ready to call the Feds if – shock, horror – someone who doesn’t normally live at next door’s house actually turns up there.
Ignore the Extinction Rebellion and Black Lives Matter mass protestors, all gathering together with no social distancing or the refusal to wear facemasks and committing actual crimes – and grass up the Joneses instead.
This open intention to turn a nation of curtain-twitchers into out-and-out snitches is madness on stilts.
I don’t know if Boris and Cummings have noticed, but this is a country still split down the middle over Brexit.
Families and friends remain split, rows still break out in pubs four years after the referendum, and even in Westminster, where the issue is grudgingly settled, resentment continues to simmer.
So what to do to find a way of instilling some calm into this febrile, tinderbox atmosphere?
Yep – splash some petrol on it, toss in a lit match, and sit back and watch society burn.
What’s to say that my old neighbour, who still lives nearby, doesn’t call the cops for fun claiming I’m having a party, even if I’m not?
What’s to stop Flick-knife Freddie from taking revenge on old Ethel who’d called police after he had one too many people round to watch the match?
Target
Who’s genuinely going to take on the role of wearing a hi-viz gilet with a target on the back without demanding a subsequent witness protection programme for life? And all for what? A bloody virus that harms the most vulnerable, yes, but does far less and in most “cases” no harm to the rest of us.
Turning neighbour against neighbour is not just badly thought out – it clearly hasn’t been thought out in the slightest.
That’s not just a wilfully inept instruction that might cause perhaps a row or two.
It’s the kind of action that could spark a civil war.