Like it or not...this ain’t over yet!
When the thoroughly unwashed guy running the Waltzer looked as though he was probably on the run from the cops, too?
And when young teenage men still unable to gain entry into licensed premises would tussle for female attention by smashing the shit out of the Test Your Strength machine?
The past few days have been just like that – the DING, DING, DING of the bell being hit after contestant after sweaty contestant queued up to swing the hammer.
But the noise wasn’t coming from a fairground, though.
No, it was – as ever – on social media, where the US Presidential election result has also resulted in a display of galactic virtue signalling.
And yes, yes, and thrice yes – I get it, I really do.
Rabid
You’re over the moon to see the back of Donald Trump – and boy do you want to tell the world.
I’m pleased the big, mad, orange balloon has gone, too – but what I haven’t done is lit up my social media accounts to crow about it.
And one of the two reasons I’m not crowing about it is because it is absolutely NOTHING to do with me.
I’ve had to watch otherwise sensible UK friends turn into rabid fanatics, who – because they once posted something along the lines of “Trump out!” on their Insta – somehow think they helped bring about the result. No, you didn’t, you cretin. You merely expressed an opinion that was liked a few times by your over-excitable nine followers.
Now you’re acting as though your astute political weathervane is as attuned to the prevailing wind as an ant’s antennae – as though you’re the ONLY one who had noticed Trump was a knobhead.
But in between your furious bouts of
DODDERY AND DODGY: Biden (above) and Trump celebrating your new-found bellwether expertise, you’ve missed something.
Which is the second reason I won’t crow about the US election.
Joe Biden is merely a doddery old man with questionable views and dodgy behaviour replacing another doddery old man with questionable views and dodgy behaviour.
Whether one of them is in the White House or not, they are both unreconstructed old fools.
It’s just that one of them, the incoming Prezza Biden, tries his best to pretend not to be – when he remembers to, anyway.
I’m also amused, but not surprised, by those on their Facebook and Twitter feeds going absolutely apeshit at Trump’s attempts to overturn the decision in the US Supreme Court.
These are, by and large, the same people who WERE turned on by attempts to overturn the legitimate, legal Brexit vote in, er, the UK Supreme Court.
The people who are so permanently convinced they are right about everything that it MUST be the Russians, or fraud, or illicit money that swayed the vote – and never, of course, that a majority of people simply disagreed with them.
The real question should be wondering how on earth the biggest economy and firepower on the planet ended up with just these two dying duffers squaring up to each other over a mere suitcase full of nuclear codes.
Greatest country on earth? Don’t make me laugh. Like it or not, this ain’t over yet. Pass the candy floss.