SELF PORTRAIT JASON WILLIAMSON
Sleaford Mods’ MC of rage and refusal, in his own words and by his own hand.
I’d describe myself… as a wanker, really. OK dad. OK husband. Apart from that, bit of a twat. I’m all right, but I’m probably not the best person to ask.
Music changed me… by making me feel awake and giving me a reason to navigate some form of a path through what was initially, and for a long time, quite a boring array of options. The Kinks, All Mod Cons, before all that Never Mind The Bollocks. The intro to Pretty Vacant, it really did get me, it scared me and it’s still quite haunting. You had this level of cynicism not expressed in music up ’til then. It gave me ideas about what to do and how to express myself. When I’m not making music… I look after my kids, try to be a good husband and a good sober new me, and think where that’s gonna take me. Try and fill the hole of beer, drugs and other things, look for a higher consciousness, cheesy as it sounds, because when you’ve got sobriety all you’ve got left is your consciousness. And I’ve been getting into writing, I’ve just finished another book of short stories, and a bit of acting, extra-stuff, whenever I can get it.
My biggest vice is… nicotine pills and coffee. That’s it. I’ve got these little lozenges, they’re my little party, one after dinner, one every hour, two if I fancy it, one while I’m in bed trying to go asleep. I go to the fucking gym loads as well, it’s taken over the pub. I said to myself, “Right I want to get a beach body”, as vacuous as that may sound. I’m toned mate, but tell you what, you can have one fucking cake and it goes, you’re constantly on the high wire! I’m in Paris at the minute, cake city, they’re everywhere, I’ve been trying not to look in shop windows.
The last time I was embarrassed was… I get regularly embarrassed online if I moan or slag a band off. You say something a bit out of order, get all these intelligent responses, and feel like a twat. Apart from that, nothing, again it’s probably sobriety. With hangovers, the self-loathing is a real fucker, the wooden spoon to embarrassment’s bowl, it just stirs it up.
My formal qualifications are… five GCSEs, in English, English Literature, Art, Media Studies and Theatre Studies, and A Levels in Media Studies and Theatre Studies. I tried to train to be an actor but it was disciplined, and hard to compete, and I discovered club culture and pills, and it went out the window.
The last time I cried was… years ago, 2007, I think. I was having real, difficult problems and was completely broke, and I had to move back to my mum’s for the third time.
Vinyl, CD or streaming?… It’s nice to listen to vinyl when it’s put through a proper system, but I’m not bothered really. I listen through my phone, or laptop, through really good earphones.
My most treasured possessions are… my wife bought me a really nice watch for my birthday. That.
The best book I’ve read is… there’s a combination of stuff that’s influenced me – Bret Easton Ellis’s American Psycho, The Coming Insurrection by The Invisible Committee and, dare I say it, ’cos he kind of annoys me, Chavs by Owen Jones. Is the glass half full or half empty… always half empty. I’m never happy, I never say, “Oh, look what me and Andrew [Fearn, bandmate] have achieved.” It’s never good enough. Personally, I’m happy, I don’t want for anything outside my family… I’ve done the exploring bedlam-chaos, I don’t need that any more. My greatest regret is… upsetting my wife and putting her through quite a lot of misery. Behaving really badly. I did break her heart. I really regret it. Upsetting family as well. Don’t do it again and always be mindful of it. When we die… we’ve all got different versions of it. Mine is, we just go to the earth. It’s just a massive recycling thing, and I don’t mind that. I would like to be remembered as… a member of a good band and as a good father to my kids and as a good husband. That’s all.
“Hangovers… the wooden spoon to embarrassment’s bowl.”