Bereavement
created. They were beautifully ornate and colour ful but also deeply personal.
“We always have photographs of the deceased along with memorabilia, food, flowers, and candles, all to welcome their souls. We do this each year for a reunion with the souls of the deceased, to celebrate their lives and show that they are still remembered.”
Back in the workshop Danielle chats quietly with the par ticipants as they make gifts to set on their own ofrenda. “It can be upsetting, perhaps frightening, to bring back that pain of loss, to cr y again, but we shouldn’t supress that. I lost my brother when I was young and each year making his ofrenda is painful but I also have a warm feeling that in spir t he is still par t of my life.”
This is par t of Mexican cultural heritage but it seems at home here and surely can only help in what is often the lonely process of grieving.
This year the word death became an everyday part of our vocabulary. Did that help us cope better with death or did its constant use water down the impact on individuals and their families? I think back to the death of my mother in the 1970s when I was in my early teens. It was traumatic and bewildering and I didn’t have the maturity to deal with it. The “dead” word was used in hushed terms or with that almost comical exaggerated whisper! I suppose the thinking was that to not talk about it was the best way to get over it. Dad remarried, so photos of my mother were taken down and we were to start a new phase of our lives. I put on a bright, brave face but inside I struggled for many years – even writing this brings it back. But that was a long time ago and now there’s support from people who understand how to help, how to talk about death and make the coming years just a bit more bearable.