I Survived Aberfan
Peace 50 years on
For Gaynor Madgwick, this Friday will not be easy. It is likely to take her back 50 years to the day when her community in South Wales was plunged into sorrow.
On Friday, October 21, 1966, part of a waterlogged coal mining spoil heap above the village of Aberfan collapsed, sending a torrent of sludge down onto a school, taking the lives of half the village’s children.
Aged eight at the time, Gaynor lived with her mum and dad, four sisters and brother.
It was a drizzly morning, the last day before autumn half-term at Pantglas Junior School. At around 9.15am Gaynor, her classmates and teachers heard a rumbling that grew louder and louder.
“It sounded like the end of world had come,” she recalls. “I tried to run for the door but never made it. A hellish mass came through the windows and everything literally went black.”
Three classrooms of the junior school lay wrecked, filled with coal slurry and debris. People in the village dropped everything and ran to the spot in a frantic effort to find their children.
Gaynor was rescued and taken to hospital. That night, when her parents visited, she asked after her brother and sister, Carl and Marylyn, who had also been in school.
Her father told her, “They are gone. They have gone to heaven with the angels.”
After 12 weeks in hospital, Gaynor returned home. It was then that the impact of what happened started to really take its toll.
The initial panic, shock and grief in Aberfan had turned into a lasting and deep sadness. People were suffering from stress, anxiety and depression. Gaynor’s mum was taking Valium and her weight plummeted to just five stone.
The suffering was, if anything, made worse by being kept hidden.
“I needed others to tell me howthey felt…”
“No one spoke about it,” says Gaynor. “No one shared how they were feeling.”
It was not until she was 16 that it was recognised Gaynor needed counselling.
“As I got older, I got stronger,” she says.
“My family helped me greatly over the years. We are very close. If my parents hadn’t stood strong, us children would never have got through it.”
Significantly too, rather than shutting out her memories Gaynor confronted them and started to speak out. As a teenager, she kept a diary, writing down her feelings. Later she published a book about her journey. Yet even laying her own suffering bare wasn’t enough.
“Two years ago, I realised I still needed answers. I needed Mum and Dad and others to tell me how they felt about what happened.”
Gaynor set out to talk to
others who had lived through the disaster. as well as sharing painful recollections with her parents she visited fellow child survivors, teachers, a soldier drafted in for rescue work, the sunday school teacher and several others – even lord snowdon, who visited in the aftermath.
the interviews form the basis of a second book, published in the summer.
“i set out to write to find calm and closure and it has definitely helped me move on,” gaynor says.
“i’ve discovered that while you should never, ever forget things, life can be good again, if you want it to be. i hope reading the book will help some others too.”
although she still gets upset, gaynor is now able to count her blessings. choosing to remain in aberfan, she has three children and a rewarding job working to help vulnerable families.
the memorial garden on the site of the old school and the lines of white graves in the cemetery will always ensure the lost ones are remembered, but in aberfan there are many signs of a community reborn. there is a new school, a community centre with swimming pool and gym, a fantastic library and thriving social networks such as a crèche, a wives’ group and a male voice choir. “as new generations have come through, aberfan has become a happy place again,” says gaynor.
the spoil heaps on the hillside are long gone, made safe and landscaped. where there was ugliness and dirt, there is now green hillside. aberfan is moving on. Aberfan: A Story of Survival, Love and Community in One of Britain’sWorst Disasters by Gaynor Madgwick is available from bookshops and online.