Is She Being Too Independent?
QMy mum has had a cancerous lump removed recently and is supposed to be recovering. She’s been told to rest and my sister and I are doing our best – we’ve even hired a cleaner for her – but she just won’t slow down. She’s insisting she can look after herself, but this is a time when she needs other people’s help, so that she can concentrate on getting better. How can we convince her to stop being so independent and accept some help?
AI agree that it’s difficult dealing with fast, active people because they don’t like to be told to slow down! However, maybe this is not such a bad thing, you know. If your mother was exhausted by the surgery or aftercare, she would not be able to run around the way she is doing. So the fact that she is capable is a good sign that she’s recovering well.
It’s so important for all of us to be able to listen to our own bodies when they tell us what our limits are. I can imagine that your mother is a strong character and part of her mental and physical well-being is being active and positive. If she is able – and clearly at present she is – then why not let her be involved and active? Activity releases endorphins that help us feel good and well, so encourage her to continue – while at the same time making sure you or someone else is on hand to offer help and supervision if needed.
There may well come a time when she will welcome your help, but at present it sounds as if she is actually benefiting from her activity. She is lucky to have such concerned and helpful daughters on hand to speed her recovery as well as monitor her safe progress.
Perhaps if you began watching the odd DVD together, you might even instil an enjoyable “sitting down” habit that could be beneficial for you all.
The fact that she is capable suggests she is recoveringwell – please do encourage that!