I’m The Granny On The Sidelines
QMy son and his partner have a wonderful two-year-old and I love him to bits. He’s my only grandchild, but I never get to see him. My son’s partner is very close to her mum and her extended family and they’re the ones who are always asked to babysit or help out with him. It’s not that anyone is being nasty to me, I just don’t want to miss these precious early years with my grandson. What can I do without sounding petty?
AI do feel for you. It is not that you are being positively excluded, but more that you are not fully included. I can see how your son’s girlfriend has looked to her own family more often, as childbirth can often bring a mother and daughter even closer.
Still, that doesn’t mean your role as a grandparent is any lesser. The task ahead is to find some seamless ways to involve yourself with your grandson.
There must be times when your son
does the caring to give his partner a break. Encourage him to involve you in this. He can bring your grandson to you for a visit. You can join them both on a trip to the zoo/playgroup/toy shop.
Ask them all for tea. Consider inviting her parents for a casual social gathering to prove that you are a friend rather than a competitor in the granny stakes!
A word in your son’s ear could enable you to attend a social event where your grandson and her parents will be, while keeping things relaxed. Anything that increases your contact will develop into your playing a greater part in his life.
Keep toys in your home that you and he will enjoy. Once familiarity and trust are established you might suggest babysitting. Maybe your son’s partner’s parents are going on holiday? Time to prove how indispensable you are…
Anything that increases contact will develop into your playing a greater part in his life