He Wants Me To Be There 24/7
QI’m in a very happy relationship, but much as I enjoy my partner’s company, I enjoy having time on my own to potter about or even go away for a short break. However, he seems to feel resentful if I do organise a trip or take days off when he’s at work. How can I make him understand it’s nothing to do with how I feel about him – or am I being unreasonable by expecting him not to mind?
AI completely understand where you are coming from and, for me, the key features of your letter are “I’m in a very happy relationship – I enjoy my partner’s company”. But just because you are in a happy relationship, it doesn’t mean that you must have identical interests.
After all, many of us work – usually separately; we have friends – not the same set for both; and we can still
enjoy different films, books and taste in food! Only one step from that is your enjoyment of a break away.
So long as the relationship is solid and there is mutual respect and you are happy together, some separate time is an enhancement and can only serve to keep your sense of self working properly.
It should certainly not be a “threat”. Basically, we are all individuals. You like to potter and enjoy your own company and he doesn’t.
But there must be something that he enjoys more than you do – motor racing, sports, the pub, to name just a few?
Encourage your partner to follow a dream of his own. You can enjoy telling each other about what you have both been up to. So in conclusion – no, you are not being unreasonable.
Separate time is an enhancement and can only serve to keep your sense of self