All About The Beige Coffee Break Tale

FICTION Sugar-pink or black and silver – how would they ever be happy together?

You’re right, we need to have a clear out.” Felicity looked around at her familiar belongings. Since he’d moved in, Jed had seemed determined to put his mark on the place. Mostly, it amounted to the fact that he wanted to sell up.

“It’s not that I don’t like the house. I just wish it was our own. There are things from when you were married to him,” he complained.

“The chair backs, and stitched pictures make it look old-fashioned. I’m more for black and silver, if I’m honest.”

“Oh, be honest – though black and silver sounds too manly for me. I only painted the walls sugar-pink last year – they’ll last a while longer yet.”

“And we need to talk about Carlos…” Jed frowned. “The way you let him lie on that armchair. It’s covered in dog hairs. They stick to our clothes.”

“He’s always liked the window seat. He’s watching for intruders.” “He’s jealous. He doesn’t like me.” “Of course Carlos likes you. He’s smiling when he shows his teeth.” Felicity fussed her golden retriever. Jed sighed. “We could get an estate agent round?”

“Yes. Perhaps it would help us to move on. I know it’s hard for you, living in a house that I shared with someone else. It’s your home as well now, Jed. I’ll ring the estate agent, only for curiosity.”

On Friday, Felicity opened the door to Peter, from Johnson’s Estate Agents. He looked around the ramshackle cottage and noticed plaster dropping off the walls in the hallway.

“Hmm, you’ll need to fix that – and paint it a cream shade.”

In the kitchen, he squinted at the blue and black feather-patterned wallpaper.

“Mm – could do with changing that to, say, a magnolia shade.”

Stepping over Felicity’s ironing basket and magazines, Peter said, “You’ll have to get rid of the papers, and the ironing needs to be in a covered linen basket. You can get them in neutral colours. Shall we look upstairs?”

Felicity nodded and led the way. Bit by bit he pointed out what needed “beige-ing” and suggested she clear mostly everything from the house.

“People want to put their own stamp on it, you see. The bathroom we’ll call bijou and the bedrooms compact.” He made his way down what he called the quaint staircase.

He sat in Carlos’s chair, before Felicity had chance to warn him. “All it needs is lots of magnolia.” Felicity assured him she’d follow his instructions as he got up to leave.

“We’ll beige it all over. See you in a few weeks.” Following him to the door, she saw the beige was all over Peter.

His black woollen coat was plastered in a snowstorm of dog hairs. She tried to air-brush the back of his now beige coat.

Carlos was in the garden. Peter didn’t know they owned a dog.

Felicity and Jed got rid of lots of personal belongings and, several trips to the tip later, surprisingly, Jed was tons happier. On a trip to the local market Felicity found cream material, and had fun making curtains on her sewing machine. They bought magnolia paint and charity-shopped the clothes they hadn’t worn for the last year.

When the magnolia ran low, they mixed in coffee and cream tints. They enjoyed mixing colours, and each room was a slightly different shade.

“You look good with blonde highlights.” Jed teased when Felicity spilt paint in her hair. “And you suit that creamy nose.” They got messy flicking paint at each other, then kissed. Carlos bounded between them.

On his return Peter was amazed at the transformation. “You’ve worked wonders, it’s marvellous. We’ll put it on the market.”

“No chance,” Jed butted in. “Felicity doesn’t want to move, do you, sweet? So much time and effort has gone into creating our home. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else now.”

Felicity smirked inwardly. Result! One happy boyfriend and they didn’t have to move.

Carlos watched through the sparkling French windows, with cream curtains hanging either side, and wagged his tail.