I Feel She’s Taking Advantage Of Me

QI’m more than glad to be able to help my daughter out when she needs me to watch my grandchildren. My grandson, who is 10, is a dream, but his sister is 14 and very difficult. Every time I am in charge she suddenly has to be somewhere else – and I am expected to drive her there – or she has friends coming round and I’m expected to make extra meals and drive them home, too. It may sound petty but I feel she’s taking advantage of my good nature.

AOf course she is taking advantage of your good nature – but can you embrace it? Might be a darn sight easier in the long run!

Teenagers are the most selfish people in the world. Their horizons stop at the edge of their existence and everyone must dance to their tune. This is just one reason that the teenage years are so challenging for the people close to them.

Some adults might just say “no”, but

that’s not necessarily the best answer as it only leads to more conflict. I’m not saying you must be a pushover either, but it’s useful to reflect on how hormones affect a growing person’s behaviour. It’s not personal.

Teenagers need to assert their personality and challenge authority. This allows them to expand and grow as people who will shortly be independent – as infuriating as this might be, especially as you are being kind enough to drive her hither and thither – but how about taking a moment to feel good that your daughter involves you in all this? It shows how important you must be to them. I’d suggest you try to accept the demands when you can – time is short! – and enjoy being part of these young people’s lives at a challenging time.

It’s useful to reflect on how hormones affect a teenager’s behaviour – it’s not personal