Ask Helen

Celebrity agony aunt Helen Lederer gives you her heartfelt advice every week

I’m Frightened By The World

QI’ve found myself really affected by all the terrible things that have happened recently – terrorists attacking ordinary people in the street, the awful fire in London, children dying on Mediterranean beaches – and I feel sad and panicky all the time. I’m frightened to leave the house but don’t even feel safe there. What if someone drove their car into my home or blew themselves up in the street?

AYou are not alone in your feelings. All of us are affected by recent events and they are terrible.

In the past, conflicts were sorted by war in fixed places and with visible goals and results. Nowadays conflict is everywhere and it’s less distinct and clear cut. Nowhere feels completely safe any more, especially with the evidence that random acts are becoming more frequent.

Feeling unsafe and insecure has

become a real issue in our current society but the question must be put – what should our attitude be as we go about our business? What is a feasible and practical way forward?

In the law of averages any direct assault on each of us is extremely unlikely – although not impossible – just as crossing the road or catching a virus is always a risk. Yes, it’s a morbid thought on the one hand, but rationalising your fears can be helpful. Ask yourself what is the alternative? My advice is to carry on as normal, but at the same time with increased awareness of what is happening around you. Talk to other people about this. Join support groups. Perhaps offer support to victims and become active in the world we live in, rather than allowing fear to win.

As someone who has been a social worker, mother, wife and divorcee I feel I have been around the block – and back – a few times. I’m humbled to answer your questions and passionately feel that if a problem can be shared it can be halved -– at the very least.