Chris Pascoe’s Fun Tales

More barmy broadcasting from a local radio station is music to Chris’s ears

Last week I wrote here about an inglorious two hours of broadcasting by my local radio station which left listeners with the impression our local cricket team walk on their knuckles.

Just days after writing that article, I went off for a weekend away with my wife Lorraine and daughter Maya, and came across another local radio station that made ours seem like the very benchmark of broadcasting.

Sitting in our hotel room and staring out to sea with a beer (one of the few things I’m good at) I switched on local radio and within five minutes found myself staring at the radio aghast.

Firstly, the presenter mentioned in passing the sinking of the Titanic, only for his co-host to enthusiastically interject that he’d read “over twelve people drowned that day.” Really? Twelve? How did the other 1491 meet their doom then? The presenter wasn’t going to accept that as fact though, stating that he was sure the numbers would have been in the high thousands and instructed his production team to check the figure. “No” came the immediate response. That “no” would appear to have been final, because we didn’t hear anything more about it.

A few minutes later, during LoveMeDo by the Beatles, the presenter could clearly be heard talking in the background. “You’re a moron” he shouted in his strong West Country accent, “A total moron, from a whole line of morons… a lineage of morons… a moron lineage.”

I shook off the notion that the attack might have been personal, reasoning that he couldn’t possibly know I was listening. The Beatles carried on playing with no further interruptions, but as soon as the record finished, the presenter continued his perfect five minutes of broadcasting with the unexpected line:

“Well, that was Blur there with their big hit There’sNo OtherWay.” No it wasn’t. “And next up, here’s Rick Astley with NeverGonnaGive YouUp.

There followed 30 seconds of deafening noise which had me grabbing for my ears and Maya frowning over the top of her phone. When the thunderous burst of static subsided, I distinctly heard somebody shout the word “moron” before we were treated to a second playing of LoveMeDo… immediately followed by a full minute’s silence.

It had been the most breathtakingly wonderful ten minutes of radio I’d ever heard. Disappointingly, the next hour proved blooperfree, and actually quite good, but they weren’t quite finished yet – the presenter wound up his show, his co-host cheerily shouted goodbye to their “lovely wholesome audience”, and right on cue, they went straight to the adverts, but not before the words, “My God, that was flipping awful!” could be heard drowning out the station’s signature ditty.

Very true, I suppose, but also, totally flipping brilliant!