I’ve Learned To Laugh Again
Losing husband Albert made Edna feel isolated and alone. But a chance meeting with her local Oddfellows group changed her life
Isuppose I didn’t realise just how much I depended on my husband until he became ill,” recalls Edna Palmer.
Edna, now 67, and her second husband Albert had been married for 16 years when he was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer at the age of just 62.
“It was a very short illness,” Edna remembers. “There was only three months between when he was first diagnosed and the day we lost him, so there was no time to get used to the idea of life without him.”
Edna and Albert had moved from their home in Bootle, Merseyside, to Southport 11 years earlier, and though Edna loved her new house, complete with the garden she’d always dreamed of, she admits she became socially isolated.
“It wasn’t that we’d left all our friends behind – I’d always worked full-time, in a factory, and we socialised with family members rather than neighbours.
“When we moved to Southport, we continued doing the same. We were quite happy keeping ourselves to ourselves.”
She adds, “Over the years, I lost my confidence so I stopped driving, because Albert could take me everywhere anyway.”
But after Albert’s illness and sudden passing, Edna realised she needed to do something to reclaim her independence, or face a life alone at home.
“My daughter was brilliant and used to come to visit as she’d always done, taking me out shopping and making sure I had what I needed,” says Edna.
“I was very grateful, but I knew I had to stop relying on other people to do things for me. I needed to make a life of my own.”
Steeled with a new-found
bravery, Edna decided to sign up for a computing course at a local college in an attempt to make friends.
“It was very nervewracking because I hadn’t set foot in a place like that for many, many years,” she admits. “I left school at 15 with no qualifications so I was totally out of my comfort zone, but completing it was so rewarding.”
Edna went on to join a creative writing group, where she met friend Anne.
“I’d never even heard of Oddfellows, but it was their centenary in Stockport that year and they were looking for memorabilia from over the years to put on display,” Edna recalls.
“Anne had happened to find some brochures in her loft belonging to some ancestors who’d once been members, so she contacted them to ask if they were of any use and was invited to a meeting of the new social group.”
Anne asked Edna along – and she’s never looked back.
“I haven’t missed a social outing since,” she smiles. “Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, so I started attending all their coffee mornings, then their trips. It’s been wonder ful.”
“As well as the weekly coffee mornings, we go on outings to stately homes, arrange trips to the theatre and often eat out.”
Edna adds, “It really has been a lifeline for me, and I know other members feel the same.
“It can be very daunting, facing life without a loved one you’ve been with for many, many years, but Oddfellows groups are so welcoming.
“There are so many different people go to the meetings and events, you can always be sure of finding someone you can make a connection with,” she insists.
“I can honestly say it’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I’d recommend it to anyone.”