My Hoarder Daughter Needs Help!
My grown-up daughter is a hoarder. She has two degrees but has not worked for years and lives with me and my husband. She’s filling up my home and won’t listen to anything we say to her. I think she’s depressed but, because she’s an adult, I can’t ask for help for her. I am at the end of my tether as all we do is argue about this. How can I get her some help?
This is such a difficult situation to manage. You want to be able to access all the rooms in your house and at the same time, do the best you can for your daughter. It must be taking its toll on both you and your husband.
Your daughter is obviously highly intelligent, mixing with others at university and school. Although she has not had a job recently, she has had to meet deadlines and do exams, so she has survived well until now. There does have to be a meeting with all of you, as well as someone else you trust. Is there a relative, or close friend who could come around? This will make the meeting more formal, but also safe. You must tell her you need to have access to all your rooms, but encourage her to explain how she feels and how she wants to move forward. You should end up with an action plan. She will need some space for her “stuff”, but if she can express her dark thoughts and loss of interest, she might agree to let you accompany her to see her GP. She is not alone. Visit WWW.HELPFORHOARDERS.CO.UK/RESOURCES/
She may need help with finding an appropriate job. Are there any agencies in your area who could help? There are so many things to decide and an extra person can enable you all to get help. Aim for understanding first, and take it from there. Good luck. WWW.NHS.UK/ CONDITIONS/HOARDING/PAGES/INTRODUCTION.ASPX
You need to enlist help first to aim for understanding and then take it from there