Ask Helen

Helen Lederer Celebrity agony aunt gives you her heartfelt advice every week

He Cooks The Same Thing Every Night!

Since my husband has retired, he’s been driving me mad by taking over the cooking of our evening meal. He’s a good cook and my friends say I should be grateful, but I’m fed up with his choices. If we have his favourite – mixed grill – one more time, I think I will scream! I would give anything for a fresh salad or vegetarian chilli, but he’s just not interested in trying something different. I don’t want to put him off cooking altogether, but what can I do to keep the peace?

Retirement is supposed to be such a blessing… you are alive – hurrah! – you do not have to go to work and there may be some savings available. However, the new freedom can bring new problems. It’s great that you don’t want to put him off cooking, but I’m sure even he might tire of a grill after months of the same dish?

Your husband is obviously active and wants to be useful. He sees cooking the evening meal as being helpful – it’s just a shame that he doesn’t have a bigger repertoire. Can you suggest recipe ideas? Perhaps buy the ingredients for him? That is one option. Alternatively, why not get information on cooking courses? As he likes cooking, suggest he becomes an expert! It will encourage him to increase his range. He clearly has an interest in being in the kitchen which is a great start. Maybe look at holidays that include cookery courses for both of you – then you can take it in turns.

However, it seems to me that he needs a plan for his retirement, and cooking is only one area. How about exercise classes, social activities, or education to expand the mind? He’s clearly keen to do things, so it might be just the right time to introduce him (and you) to a range of new activities.

He wants to be helpful, so suggest recipe ideas, or take cookery classes together