Love Under Par

A Second Chance

Catherine was surprised to see a black Volvo outside her motherin-law’s cottage. Grace must have a visitor this afternoon.

She was even more surprised when her ex-husband opened the door. What on earth was Karl doing here? Shouldn’t he be in Rotterdam? He seemed as taken aback as her. “Is Mum expecting you?” His hair was greying at the temples and there were lines around his eyes.

Hands trembling, she tried to gather her wits. It was inevitable their paths would cross again – but realising this was quite different to having him

suddenly appear before her. Catherine took a deep breath. “I phoned earlier,” she said. “There’s something I need to talk to Grace about.”

Would she tell Karl it also concerned him? She ought to. But could she? She’d prefer to tell Grace first. And perhaps even let Grace pass on the news.

As she followed him into the cottage, she remembered other times they’d been here together. Especially that first time when, both university students, they’d nervously come to introduce Catherine and let Grace know she was going to become a grandmother.

They walked through to the kitchen. There was an apologetic expression in Grace’s eyes as she greeted Catherine. A rich aroma of coffee and spices filled the room. On the worktop was an apple and cinnamon cake.

Catherine wondered how long Karl was staying.

“I should’ve said something when you phoned,” Grace began.

Grace knew that Catherine had chosen not to see Karl again. Not since he’d left her and the children to take up a job offer in Rotterdam all those years

There was a STUNNED SILENCE. Grace’s eyes WIDENED at the news

ago. Accompanied by his secretary. It was the first she’d known of their affair.

Were they still together? Catherine wondered. Married?

In the early years after Karl left, she’d been in a permanent state of exhaustion, bringing up Laura and Thomas on her own. Grace had helped in practical ways. It was her suggestion that Karl see the children at her cottage to spare Catherine the pain of seeing him and his new partner. She’d been terrified he’d take Laura and Thomas back to Rotterdam.

She was lost in thought until Grace pressed her arm.

“You’re a million miles away. Would you like to join us for coffee?”

Catherine wondered whether she’d planned this meeting, wanting to bring the two of them together. “Thank you.” She helped Grace set china and cutlery at the small wooden table, putting the apple and cinnamon cake in the centre. She sipped her coffee before facing them both.

“The reason I’ve come,” she began, “is to let you know Laura’s pregnant.”

There was a stunned silence. Grace’s eyes widened as she took in the news. Just as they had on that previous occasion twenty-one years ago.

“I never thought I’d live to be a great-grandmother.” Her eyes were moist as she turned to her son. “You’re going to be a grandfather.”

“It’s the last thing I expected. I’m only forty-six,” he said with a wry smile. “But I couldn’t be happier.”

Neither said anything about the fact Laura had broken up with her boyfriend. Or how she’d manage. Or any of the other things that Catherine had halfexpected they’d say.

Maybe he’s changed? she thought. Maybe he’ s grown up and become less self-centred? There was a different expression in his eyes.

“This changes everything,” he said. “Just when I thought my life was getting back onto an even keel.”

No. She was wrong. This was all about him. It had been wishful thinking on her part to think he’d changed.

Grace turned to Catherine. “Karl’s on his own now, you see.” “You mean – ?” She couldn’t say it. “Yes. Fiona moved out a few months ago,” he said. “I wanted to settle down nearer the family. But she wanted to stay in Rotterdam. We… it hasn’t been right between us for some time.”

Something deep inside Catherine shifted at his words. She felt affected by his news. Maybe it was the new expression in his eyes? Or maybe it was memories of happier times?

His eyes met hers fully for the first time. She saw a new honesty and understanding reflected in their depths. Her initial feeling had been true – Karl had indeed changed.

“Mum’s getting older,” he continued. “I’m ready to slow down and spend more time with my family.”

Grace smiled. “Now you’ll see your grandchild grow up.”

“Yes. Of course that’s something I hadn’t even considered when I made the decision,” he said.

This conversation was changing everything.

“So it’s definite?” Catherine asked. “You’re moving here to stay?”

“Yes. I belong here. It’s taken me a long time to realise,” he said. “I’ve asked Mum if I can stay in her spare room for a month or two. And I’ve applied for a desk job.”

“Wouldn’t it be a lower salary?”

Was Karl really serious about becoming a family man now? Would this affect her own relationships with Grace, Thomas and Laura?

“Money’s not as important as other things,” he said.

The ground seemed to be moving from under Catherine’s feet.

But on another level, a door seemed to be opening. Was it possible for past hurt to be healed? Though she’d never forgiven him for leaving, she wasn’t someone who liked to hold onto grievances. Her heart felt lighter at the prospect of finally being able to close that chapter of her life.

But she also felt uncomfortable. Having him overseas had spared her the necessity of confronting and dealing with her feelings fully. She finished her coffee and stood up. “Well, I’ll be late for my golf lesson if I don’t leave now.” Karl couldn’t conceal his surprise. “You play golf?” It had been a bone of contention throughout their marriage. Karl had spent every spare moment on the golf course, leaving her to take responsibility for Laura and Thomas. Even after working a month overseas, he’d be up first thing next morning and gone before she started the children’s breakfast.

The memory surfaced and wouldn’t budge. Karl had never once considered that Catherine might also enjoy golf. He’d thought only of himself and his own needs.

“I’m taking beginner lessons with a pro at our local club,” she said.

Now as she drove to the golf course, emotions and thoughts formed a confused jumble in her brain.

Breathedeeply, she told herself. She’d never improve her hand-eye coordination unless she felt calm and centred.

But calm eluded her that afternoon. Her first shot went out of bounds, and after that nothing seemed to go right.

Later, walking her golden retriever along the beach, she let her mind drift. The waves lapped against the wet

sand and the salty air restored her.

She felt pleased Karl would be staying. Grace had arthritis, which slowed her down. She could do with some more support.

Catherine was also happy for Laura’s sake. Both she and Thomas had often expressed a wish over the years to see more of their father. Until now, though, his career as a marine engineer had always been his first priority. With golf coming a close second, of course.

It was just one of many annoyances that had accumulated over their years of living together.

Spirit bounded up to her, tail wagging. His coat was sprayed with ocean mist, his eyes shining as he trotted happily by her side. A good dog was a woman’s best companion. They didn’t disappear off to a golf course when you needed them.

As she let herself back into the house, her phone rang. She didn’t recognise the number so let it go to voicemail.

It was Karl. She stopped to listen. Why had he phoned?

“It’s me again,” he said. “Just wondering whether you’d be interested in a round of golf sometime?”

She hesitated. Should she speak to him? She wanted to play golf with him but he’d always been so competitive. She couldn’t bear him patronising her over her inevitably poor strokes. Yet they were now living in close proximity. There’d be family gatherings, birthday parties, babysitting for Laura’s baby. Who knew what the future held? The only sure thing was that her life was changing permanently because of Karl’s decision to come home. Lying in bed later, her mind teased away at the question. Would she accept Karl’s invitation to play golf?

Next morning Catherine woke to sunshine. Gazing out of her bedroom window at the beach, coffee in hand, her decision was made. She dialled his number.

“I got your message,” she began. “Would you like to play a social round at my golf course?”

She hadn’t joined Karl’s club. She wanted to live life on her own terms and this decision felt right. Hers was a much smaller club, with more focus on social events. He answered without hesitation. “When are you free?” She’d booked to play later this morning. Would she let him join her? Was it too soon?

“We could play at eleven o’clock today,” she said. “I can only play nine holes because I’m just starting out.”

She made the offer before she could overthink the decision.

“I’m happy to just have a hit,” he said. “Besides, I don’t have too much time. I’ve promised to take Mum shopping for knitting wool.”

As she said goodbye, Catherine couldn’t help thinking he sounded different. “Happy to have a hit” didn’t sound like the old Karl. The one who’d left her. It made her wonder what the new Karl was like. What were his values?

She admired his reasons for coming back here to live. For this new importance he placed on being with family. Was it possible for them to become friends again? Not just for old hurts and pain to be resolved – but perhaps for something new and worthwhile to be forged?

As Catherine finished her coffee, her phone buzzed. Karl had sent an image. She recognized the knitting pattern as the baby rug Grace knitted when she was expecting Laura.

Would Grace choose lemon wool again, she wondered? In the space of twenty-four hours, it seemed her life had come full circle.

Her first shot went OUT OF BOUNDS and AFTER THAT nothing went RIGHT

Sudden barking led her outside. Spirit had something in his mouth. Rushing into the garden, she yelped in pain as her big toe came into hard contact with a piece of metal pipe. It was excruciating, taking her breath away.

Did she want to hobble around the golf course? Resting it was the sensible option but…

Limping back inside, Catherine poured more coffee. What were her options? It was her left toe, so she’d still be able to drive the car…

Later, in blue floral T-shirt and jeans, she headed to the golf course. Pride and self-respect had won the day.

She recognised the black Volvo in the visitors’ car park near the clubhouse. As she parked, she saw Karl walking over. Twenty years ago he’d have been wearing the latest golfing fashion. Today, like her, he was in T-shirt and jeans. Her spirits lifted.

“What on earth have you done to yourself?” he asked, seeing her limping.

“I’ve stubbed my big toe,” she said. “At least it’s my left foot.” He put an arm around her shoulder. “Are you sure you want to play?” he asked in concern.

“I might as well get on with it,” she said. “I’m supposed to be caddying tomorrow.”

They walked towards the course.

The broad sweep of trees and greenery never failed to please her.

“I understand now why you wanted to play golf after a hard week at work,” she said. “It’s peaceful here.”

“I’ve been thinking about that lately,” he said. “Wishing I’d been more supportive of you.”

“Really?” Catherine couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I was so focused on getting ahead at work that I left you all the responsibility for looking after the kids and everything.” He turned to face her. “Can you ever forgive me for being so selfish? I’m so sorry for what I put you through.”

It was an apology Catherine had wanted for years. An acknowledgment he’d been in the wrong.

She momentarily rested her head against his chest, overcome by emotion.

“I don’t know what to say,” she began, as they resumed walking towards the first hole.

“You don’t need to say anything,” he said, his arm around her shoulder again. “I’m just grateful you’ve agreed to play golf with me. I don’t deserve it.”

“I have a good excuse for any poor shots,” she said. “I can blame my toe.”

He smiled. “Let’s just enjoy having a hit. I’m not the uber-competitive person I once was.”

They arrived at the first hole. Catherine placed her ball on the tee and began practising her drive. It didn’t feel right, but she wasn’t sure what she was doing wrong.

Karl seemed relaxed and she found herself enjoying his company. After a few practice strokes, she asked for his advice.

He moved towards her, his arm guiding hers, her back against him.

“You need to swing all the way through.” As he spoke, she felt his warm breath on her neck. It awoke feelings that had lain dormant for some time.

He nestled into her for a moment, his lips on her skin, before pulling apart. There was a question in his eyes as he sought hers.

She looked towards the white flag, trying to focus on striking the ball. Despite her emotions, it was her best drive yet, the ball rising high, whistling through the air. Karl looked suitably impressed. “That wasn’t the stroke of a beginner,” he remarked. “I think you’ve been underestimating your potential.” Catherine’s luck held. She didn’t tell him she’d never played this well before. Shots that could go either way chose to land exactly where she wanted them. The sun was warm and the air light and balmy against her face. Catherine couldn’t remember a better golfing morning. She hoped this was something they could do again. But she hesitated to suggest anything.

All too soon, they reached the ninth hole. It was time to say goodbye. Limping back, dragging her clubs behind her, Catherine could see clearly that it would have been a mistake not to come today.

As they reached her car, Karl turned to face her. He seemed to be struggling to find the right words. Finally, he spoke. “I’m wondering whether we could do this again? Would you like to come to my golf club for a hit next week?”

Catherine smiled. She knew now that he felt the same. That something might yet be rekindled. That a friendship between them was possible. And maybe even something more? “I’d really enjoy that,” she said. Again a silence. Karl’s eyes met hers. The sun lit up the green lights amid the brown. There was a transparency in them. A new depth that surprised and intrigued her. He seemed wiser and more considerate than the old one. Gently he kissed her cheek. “And perhaps you’d have dinner with me after the game?”

She nodded. Perhaps, just perhaps, this new Karl would be someone worth getting to know.

“That’s not a BEGINNER’S stroke. You UNDERESTIMATE your POTENTIAL…”