Secret Valentine But who’s the sender?

What good is a romantic admirer who never steps out of the shadows? This is going to be the year that Jodi moves on…

Only a day to go…” Jodi pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail and smiled at herself in the mirror. Oops – too grim. She tried again, finding just the one to greet the day.

“Yes, just one more day to buy those chocolates, book the table, get those flowers… make sure your Valentine gets the message… Just a simple card might be all it takes!”

With a sigh, Jodi turned the radio off. “If only it was just one card!” she muttered and grabbed her coat and bag. Slamming the door made her feel better.

Outside in the gloomy winter morning, she braced herself against the cold wind that tugged at her scarf and sent it streaming like a bright banner.

At the bus stop, the usual crowd huddled under the shelter, offering a variety of greetings: a nod from Mr

Sourby from number twenty, the usual weather comment from Ada Lindop and a quiet hello from Matt Cooper, a classmate from way back in the day. Mrs Logan was, as ever, a cheery face in the greyness of everything.

“Mornin’, my lovely.” She smiled at Jodi. “Another day at the grindstone!”

Jodi twisted her scarf into place and nodded. Mrs Logan was probably the best way to start any day; they always travelled together, Jodi squashed up against the window next to the other woman’s bulk. If Mrs Logan ever felt grumpy with her job on a supermarket till, her demanding family and her hand-tomouth existence, she seldom showed it.

“Longer shift today,” the older woman added with a satisfied nod. “We’re expecting a last minute dash for the bargain roses and the offer on chocs.” She giggled. “Same for you, I suppose?”

“Well…” Jodi began and pointed out that the card and gift shop owner wasn’t usually given to extra shifts and extra wages. It was all about early promotions, compelling displays and special offers.

“But this year’s different. We’re open until seven and have the stock to support this policy change – we can hardly move for massive teddy bears and bobbing red hearts on ribbon.” She smiled.

“Don’t you like Valentine’s Day?” Mrs Logan sounded surprised.

Jodi paused, resisting the temptation to talk about the pressure on customers… It was her job, after all. It paid the bills

– and, more importantly, she enjoyed it.

“I do, yes – but think it’s all a bit over the top.” She hoped she didn’t sound like a spoil-sport. “I mean, just how long do you suppose some poor girl can live with a super-sized fluffy toy filling her bedroom before it ends up on the tip – or in a charity shop?”

Mrs Logan mulled this over.

“You’re right about the hype,” she said gently, “but my Bill always gets me a little spray of spring flowers and that says it all for me…”

Jodi found herself looking carefully at her fellow traveller, thinking what a lovely and unexpected morsel of information this was. What’s more, she thought to herself, Mrs Logan had hit the nail squarely on the head.

What Jodi wanted was a simple, genuine gesture, not another anonymous card pushed through the letterbox on Valentine’s Day. What she needed was a caring boyfriend to show Bill Logan’s sort of straightforward affection, not some faceless joker making her feel this confused for another year.

“I think I’d settle for that, too,” Jodi agreed as the bus trundled into the terminal near the shopping centre.

“You never know!” Mrs Logan said, heaving herself from the seat. “This might be your lucky year!” She moved ahead, stepping sideways down the step.

“Only if I buy my own present and stagger home with a gigantic, fluffy bunny on the seat next to me!” Jodi replied with a grin that set Mrs Logan chuckling all the way to her supermarket till.

It made her WISH for something more PUBLIC and PERMANENT

Further along the mall, Jodi pushed open the card shop door and entered in a flurry of red paper petals agitated by the sudden draught.

“Wow!” This from the sales assistant, resplendent in full bling, astonishing red lipstick with matching nails and bright red streaks in her hair.

“Wow yourself!” Jodi grinned. It was always fun to discover how Lizzie was dressed for special days like this. Another of the bright spots in what might have been a routine existence.

“Now, my girl, there’s just time to give you the full works – and I won’t take no for an answer.”

Jodi knew that protest was futile. It was the same on any special day – Comic Relief, Children in Need, major sports events – anything and everything. Lizzie

studied the calendar closely and was expert in dreaming up fun ways with the promotions – and including Jodi in it all.

“I know Valentine’s Day isn’t really your thing,” Lizzie was saying as she sprayed red into Jodi’s long hair and produced dangly heart-shaped earrings plus a special tabard that invited someone – anyone – to be her Valentine.

“Well…” Again, Jodi chose her words carefully, trying to identify her real feelings accurately. “We don’t need one day a year to express feelings,” she ventured as she clipped on the earrings. “Surely we can say Iloveyou every day?”

Lizzie stood back and clapped her hands. “You’re right, I know. But it’s just a bit of fun, as cheap or expensive as you want it to be – and you look good. So let’s get this show on the road and open up.”

Jodi nodded and stood up, getting used to the earrings against her face. She wasn’t going to admit to Lizzie that she actually had a secret Valentine with an annoying one-card-a-year habit that was… upsetting. Making her wish for something more public and permanent.

She had no idea who personally delivered the annual greeting. But the quirky message was in the same hand every time. Stayjustthewayyouare.

When younger, she had suspected a friend playing a prank to cheer her. Make her feel included. Now, she was convinced that it was a sad joker, someone who got a kick out of agitating her like this. Grrrr!

Maybe this year the sender would finally give up – have a change of heart.

Maybe she was over the top herself – making something out of nothing?

“Come on, Jodi. Action stations,” Lizzie called from behind a pile of redribboned gift boxes. Sometimes it was hard to remember who was the manager!

Jodi moved into the shop and looked around with new eyes. Fun – that was Lizzie’s take on most things, and it showed. As she turned on the computer till, Jodi vowed be more like her colleague. Go with the flow.

Her first customer proved it to be possible. The teenage girl admired the earrings and bought a pair for her friend – just for a laugh later.

By lunchtime, Jodi was really enjoying herself and had almost forgotten her crabby old misgivings. Trade was brisk throughout the day, pretty manic in

the hour before closing. It was good to help customers on a budget make their choices, to make suggestions about what to give the girl who loves bling or the shy Romeo seeking something understated.

“You were getting on very well with the elderly gent in the trilby!” Lizzie remarked with a smirk. “Positively conspiring – what was that all about?”

“What’s said at the specials section stays at the specials section,” was Jodi’s reply. She tapped her nose. “He was looking for something a bit more saucy to surprise his good lady!”

“Too much!” Lizzie pulled a face. “Time’s up. Shall I do the till?”

“Please. I’ll start tidying and prepping the final offers ready for morning.”

And so it was over. Lizzie was thinking spring and Mother’s Day and Easter, speaking her thoughts out loud. Half-listening, Jodi grinned and felt happy to move on.

“Bye, Lizzie. Have a good evening!” “Laters!” Lizzie scuttled off with the air of someone who intended to do just that.

Jodi locked up, walked briskly to the bus terminal and watched the night streets slip by. It wasn’t far to her ground-floor flat from the bus stop; the wind had dropped and the darkness was broken by steadily moving traffic.

She turned the last corner and stopped. A shadowy figure was on the short path to her door. Jodi watched, fascinated. She felt no fear. Might have been anyone – a courier, junk mail distributor, a mad axe-man. Anyone. But she knew exactly who it was.

It was him – she knew it! Same every year on Valentine’s Eve. Hah! He thought she’d be all cosy inside while he posted her card ready for the morning – but this year was different, thanks to the new shop opening hours…

“Hey – you!” Jodi moved quickly to stand at the end of the path, waiting for him to turn. And when he did…

“Matt? Is that you?”

The dark figure stopped, startled. Looked at the ground, perhaps hoping it would open and swallow him up.

“It is you!” Jodi remarked unnecessarily. “Have you just…?”

Matt from the morning bus-stop group looked up at her and held out his hands in submission.

Jodi pushed past him to open the door.

There on the floor was a large red envelope. She picked it up and opened the door wider.

“You’d better come in.”

“Oh, no… Perhaps not…”

But Jodi was having none of that. He followed her into the kitchen, hovered at the door, sat when she indicated.

For a time, neither spoke; he due to overwhelming embarrassment, she due to the realisation that this extremely handsome man was at her table. “Drink?”

“Please.”

She moved to the fridge. “Lager?”

“Thank you.” He pulled at the can ring, and took a grateful swig. Jodi opted for wine. Finding a glass gave her something to do. Time to think.

Finally, she sat opposite him, reached for the red envelope, opened it and read the quirky old words.

“How long did you think this could go on for, exactly?”

“Just until I plucked up the courage to talk to you…”

It took no more than a moment for Jodi to consider this quiet, distant man at the bus-stop each day, rain or shine, murmuring the usual greeting, lost in the morning rituals. Matt with an umbrella, rucksack over one shoulder. Matt in summery shirt and faded jeans. Matt in a trench coat, scarf knotted at his throat. She spoke quietly. “To talk to me?” “I’m not good at this,” he said, his fingers moving nervously on the lager can. “Never was, even when we were at school – especially when we were at school…” “Go on.”

“This isn’t a joke, Jodi. I’ve always wanted to say something, but you were always with friends. And then there’s the bus stop crowd…” “And Mrs Logan,” Jodi put in. He repeated the name sadly. “Mrs Logan. Just couldn’t seem to get a moment, or think of a way. This – ” he pointed at the card – “became something I had to do. Kind of kept up the hope…”

“Kind of freaked me out,” Jodi interrupted, then changed her mind. “Kind of – confused me. Had me blaming my mates – even my dear old dad!” “Pathetic, I know. And I’m sorry.”

“For wanting to talk?”

“For not getting round to it.”

Jodi thought of Mrs Logan and the morning bus stop crowd. She thought about her wild and raucous school friends from years back. She thought about her few previous boyfriends and their boisterous ways. All so intimidating for such an unassuming man.

She thought about Bill Logan and his simple token of affection.

“So – here we are, talking.”

“My chance, at last – would you like to come out for a drink?”

“On one condition.”

“Which is?” He looked doubtful.

“No more big red cards, please.” “Roses wouldn’t fit through the letter box,” Matt told her with a rueful smile.

“There can be roses tomorrow. Just no more cards. please.”

He looked up and smiled.

“Roses it is. And, by the way – ”

Jodi was enjoying the banter. The way his eyes twinkled. “Hmm?”

“I love the red hair and earrings,” he said and she reached to touch the forgotten Valentine accessories.

“Oh no! I must change,” she stood, noticing the quiet way he shook his head.

“Don’t ever change, Jodi. Stay just the way you are.”

“There can be ROSES TOMORROW. Just NO MORE cards, please”