Ask Helen
Celebrity agony aunt Helen Lederer gives you her heartfelt advice every week
You must engage with each other as you tackle this issue, and involve the family too
As someone who has been a social worker, mother, wife and divorcee I have been around the block a few times. I’m humbled to answer your questions and feel that if a problem can be shared it can be halved – at the very least.
I‘m wondering what your husband was like at work before the lockdown. Maybe he was unhappy and longed for retirement. Or maybe he was fine in his workplace but is now content to be doing a great deal less. Either way, some might think it a little unusual not to leave the house at all in three months. Some people are scared to venture out after lockdown, particularly into supermarkets, but are beginning to manage it.
It seems that he loves his garden and that may be the way forward. He must need plants or compost or seeds, so tell him you need him to come with you to make sure you get the right things. Or perhaps ask him to post a letter for you while you are busy with another task? And what about seeing the family in a park or garden? If none of this works, then he may need professional help. Most surgeries are now geared up for telephone appointments. You can discuss your concerns and then report back to him. But do let him know what you are doing, though, so you can engage with each other as you tackle this issue. Involving the rest of your family is a good idea, as a group effort may help him to move forwards. Try this online agoraphobia test WWW.MIND-DIAGNOSTICS.ORG/ AGORAPHOBIA-TEST if you’re worried, but hopefully this will pass. Good luck!
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