Tale Of The Unexpected
Welcome to a dystopian future… unless you’re a pig
Obviously, because of those circumstances, the rational common sense thing to do was instantly pull out of the Isle of Wight house deal.We didn’t.
Now, despite a few very welcome delays in the whole process, we suddenly have two houses when we can barely afford one. Oops.
The pigs? Yes, that’s an odd one. One of the few little things my daughter Maya demanded in return for not throwing a teenage wobbly about having to “emigrate” (her word) to an island was that we get her a pig. That’s not a little thing, is it? I said I’d look into it, with no intention of looking into it.
However, by some amazing twist of fate we discovered, two days after taking possession of our new house, that 17 pigs and piglets lived virtually next door. Not only that, they live in the grounds of an abbey and are free to visit and feed, all day, every day.
What were the chances of that? Phew.
We first became aware of our porcine neighbours when, shortly after Maya sulkily went out for her first walk, she came running full pelt back into our excess house, hugged me, tears of joy in her eyes, and yelled, “Thanks for the pigs, Dad! You’re amazing!”
I nodded sagely, deciding
“Thanks for the pigs, Dad! You’re amazing!” she yelled
not to admit I had absolutely no idea what she was on about, and went back to trying to understand how to make hot water come out of a hot water tap (I still don’t know).
I went with her on her next visit. We’d been standing for a few moments, when I noticed Maya glancing all around her, seemingly checking that no one was about.
Finally satisfied we were alone, she pulled a book from her pocket, asked no one in particular, “OK, everyone ready?” and began reading provoke revolution amongst a group of the best treated pigs in the world. Slightly unhinged behaviour there I think, Maya.
I wonder where on earth she gets that from?
Our latest Fun Tales Collection, TheDaftestRabbit HopsAgain& OtherStories is available from WWW.DCTHOMSONSHOP. CO.UK for just £7.99.