From The Mouth Of Babes…
Chris recalls his daughter Maya’s toddler conversations…
We found a diary the other day, leather bound, yellowing pages, written in smudgy fountain pen and detailing the early years of a family member. On closer study we found it was written by me.
Now, I’m getting older but I’m not Victorian, so this was a strange discovery, and I have no recollection of ever writing it. My wife Lorraine doesn’t remember the diary either, but we’d clearly decided to log the toddler years of our daughter Maya. We have no idea why.
Covering the years 2000 to 2003 and then stopping through lack of interest or ink, we rediscovered a feast of facts from a chaotic period spent juggling work-time and nappies… never juggle nappies. Our favourite entries concerned Maya’s early comments. Her first word was “Hello” which seems about as sensible a first word as any baby could muster. Sadly, she had no follow-up and didn’t speak again for two months… when she said “hello” again. This was shaping up to be a very long conversation.
By three she was speaking well, as noted in the following conversations…
Daddy (that’s me!) walking into room: Ouch,arghh,thisis painful,I’venoideawhat’s happenedtomyshoulder. Lorraine: AreyouOK? Toddler Maya: No,he’slost hisshoulder.
In a supermarket, Maya gave a big beaming smile to an even younger toddler but received no recognition.
Toddler Maya: Daddy,that babywasdissingme.
If that particular statement gives a slightly gangster air to Maya’s early attitude this one, in September 2003, is definitely an early attempt at a protection racket…
Maya (on the phone to her Granddad Walt): CanIhave somemoniesGrandad?
Granddad: Nono,youcan’t justaskformoneylikethat!
Maya: ThenIhuffandIpuff andIblowyourhousedown!
Back to the subject of dissing, I certainly got dissed in these early exchanges…
Maya (sitting holding a balloon and watching me write): Exceptformeand Mummyyou’rethecleverest personbymilesandmiles.
Me (though slightly taken aback by the double edged compliment): Thankyou Maya,that’sreallyniceofyou.
Maya: NotyouDaddy!I’m talkingtomyballoon.
Great – she considered me less intelligent than a balloon!
Moving on, Maya walked
Upon reaching the top of a playground slide where a young boy was loudly singing, “I’m the king of the castle!”
Toddler Maya: Youwere…
Maya considered me less intelligent than a balloon
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